As I’m sure almost all of us who frequent this corner of the internet are aware, the term “Dark Triad” refers to the three personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism, which are considered to be “dark” for the generally emotionally destructive tendencies they engender in those who possess them. I won’t go into the details of each one here, since I assume they’re well known.
As I’m also sure anyone who has done even perfunctory amounts of reading of the manosphere is aware, these personality traits are inherently attractive to a lot of women. Is this because women like self-obsessed, manipulative unfeeling assholes? Not directly. Rather it is what people possessing these traits are subcommunicating about themselves that trip off the evolutionary attraction switches.
Self-obsessed? Then you care more about yourself than any woman, and will always try to get your own way. Women subconsciously reason that only a man of options could get away with behaving like this. High value communicated. Manipulative? You have no qualms in using devious or underhand tactics to control situations and people to your own ends. The likelihood of coercing women into liking is therefore you massively increased. Borderline psychopathic? The very definition of emotionally unreactive. Women see this, and come to the subconscious conclusion that you must be a man of many options with extremely high social value in order to care so little. High value communicated. Once high value has been established in this manner, the fear of losing you fires up the hamster of dread in the back of her mind, and she’s yours.
Heartiste in particular has long been a proponent of dark triad personality traits, triumphantly posting the latest scientific literature confirming their attractiveness to women.
The allure is strong. Behave like an entitled jerk, and still get women? “Great!” you think, “I will start acting like a self-obsessed, manipulative asshole immediately.” Not so fast, I caution, for a few reasons.
First, people with these personality traits have developed them from early childhood. They are part of who they are at a fundamental level. You cannot simply decide you want to “adopt” a certain personality trait one day as a grown adult, and expect it to work. You will come off as socially incongruent, and most likely end up repulsing any except the most socially unintelligent women. Never forget, those people who are socially adept – either men who are “naturals” or those that have mastered their own minds through self-improvement, or a large number of women who are evolutionarily programmed to be inherently more socially aware than men – can see straight through your fakery in the blink of an eye. You may be talking the talk, and even adopting one or two of the more obvious body language cues; but the other 10,000 physical micro-cues your facial expression, tonality, eye contact and posture are giving away completely betray you.
Additionally, trying to act in a manner that is out of accord with who you are at a base level for prolonged periods of time will cause mental dissonance and anguish. The only way to truly change core elements of your personality is through a prolonged period of organic growth, reinforced with a firm set of supporting habitual behaviours that you adopt over time.
Secondly, those people possessing some large measure of dark triad personality traits are generally not very happy people. The very essence of psychopathy means you cannot feel love. To be truly narcissistic means to never really know mental peace. To darkly manipulate others means repeatedly putting stains upon your soul. Which brings me on to my third point.
I want to be able to look myself in the eye in the mirror and not be ashamed of any part of my behaviour. I want to know that I always tried my utmost to act in a respectable, honourable fashion. To my mind, this is a central tenet of being a man. This I could not do if I knew that I deliberately and maliciously inflicted emotional anguish upon a woman just to hold her in my thrall. These are the actions of a low value individual.
What then if there was a way to achieve your goal of being highly attractive to women, without having to resort to these tactics? Fortunately there is. Remember that women are not directly attracted to dark triad personality traits, but rather to the illusion of high value that they convey (and indeed, is it usually nothing more than an illusion).
Being focused on your overarching life goal above all else, whilst working tirelessly to raise and maintain your value through dedication to optimising your physique, aesthetic, mind, social skills and wealth, should be tenets central to any self-respecting man’s life. They are also qualities which by definition mean that no one woman ever becomes the sole focus of your life. Indeed, women in general begin to take a back seat when you fully begin to experience the joys of genuine self-improvement, and the corresponding leaps in confidence that come with it. Women are naturally drawn and attracted to you, simply because at a very base level, you do not need them.
In this manner, through the adoption of this life philosophy, you may be viewed as extremely attractive towards the opposite sex, whilst at the same time being fully assured that you are acting in a decent, principled and honourable manner. You also get the added bonus of massively improving the quality of your life, brimming with self-confidence in the knowledge you earned the level you are at through hard work, and able to savour the peace of mind that comes with it.
There are those of course who simply do not want to put the time and effort into trying to improve themselves. They just want the quick fix, the magic bullet. There is a word for this type of person – the “majority”. These are the people who will simply try to adopt forced personality traits which are not their own in order to pursue their shallow aims, merely increasing their own level of unhappiness in the process, whilst earning the contempt of those high value individuals around them who can see straight through their petty games.
I invite you to make your own choice as to which route you would rather take.
As a related aside, I recently came across a short online questionnaire that evaluates for dark triad personality traits. At the end of the survey, each one of the three traits is given a score out of a maximum of 4, whilst you are also shown a figure indicating the percentile of other responders that you scored higher than. I’d advise to ignore this percentile score, since many people answer these surveys dishonestly, and just look at the figure out of 4 instead.
For reference, my own scores were as follows:
– Narcissism: 3.3
– Psychopathy: 2.8
– Machiavellianism: 2.6
One thing of note about the trait of narcissism – someone of extremely high self-esteem, who has made numerous, demonstrable notable achievements in their life, will usually get a high score in the narcissism category. Perhaps it is the characteristics of a narcissistic personality which compel individuals to push themselves to the greatest levels of achievement for their own personal glory.
Post your scores up in the comment section for interest, or just keep them to yourself if you prefer.