You want this?

What are your ultimate goals from life?

It’s easy to reflexively say “A Ferrai, a mansion, millions of pounds” – but do you really mean that? What are you willing to put yourself through to get there? What hardships will you endure? How many setbacks are you willing to pick yourself up from? Do you really believe you can do it, deep down in your core? Are you prepared to risk total failure?

The higher you aim, the more likely you are to miss, and have to face up to the fact that you simply weren’t good enough. No more pretty lies. Can you do that? Can you still try again in the face of crushing despair? Or will you just reach a level of competency, somewhat above average, and just stay there, unwilling to risk what is needed? We go in far in life as we believe we deserve, and that we feel we are capable of.

Personally, I’ve always had ambition to achieve the greatest things, true top 0.01% success. But I never actually did anything about it, consoling myself with “Well, I could do it if I want.” School came easy, I was top of the class without ever having to apply myself. I coasted through my 20s, wasting years on video games and weed. Living in the comparatively impoverished north of England, I easily outranked all of my peers in earning power. And then I turned 30, moved to London, and realised I was in fact a worm.

A Worm


I was surrounded by rich and successful people, who actually had what I’d always assumed I’d get – and yet despite working my way up to a highly paid job, I was still in reality nowhere closer to achieving.

All the ambition in the world won’t get you anywhere without the burning drive to make it happen, and the willingness to risk your ego – that part of yourself that tells you what a fucking awesome man you are simply because you’re just above average. You need to cultivate a healthy sense of entitlement. You need to believe that you deserve ultimate success as your birthright. Anything short of total fulfilment of your loftiest goals will then literally disgust you, and seem a burning failure.

As I’ve learned over the last couple of years – it’s not for most. Most people prefer not to push themselves too far, in case they find out they’re not actually capable of getting there. Ego preservation. There isn’t enough room at the top for everyone, and if you ultimately fail, you can no longer rationalise it away to yourself, saying  “I could have if I wanted to.” You tried, and you failed. Who wants to risk that? Not many.

You will have to endure hardship. How much can you put yourself through to realise your aims? Let’s put it like this. I’ve recently moved back home with the folks to save cash. I voluntarily walked out of a job that paid me $250,000/year in London because it wasn’t good enough. To put that in perspective, I could have been a millionaire in 5 years whilst still having $50k a year to spend. And that’s not even as far up the career ladder as I could have gone in my profession. I could have doubled that salary within a year or two. I’ve taken myself from living in one of the premier capitals in the world, eating at Michelin starred restaurants, living in a $3,000,000 apartment – to sitting on my own in a tiny pisspot village in the north of England, no social life to speak of, no money coming in, living on a budget, all in order so that I can learn to become a successful trader. Why? Because I can earn tens of millions through trading, the kind of money that it would have taken me decades to amass, all whilst living completely on my own terms as a man, and not having to work underneath some dickhead and kiss corporate ass. My ambition is such that without a second thought, I walked out of what 99% could never even dream of achieving. Short term pain for long term gain.


This is somewhat dramatic. But you get the point.

How many people in this part of the internet have ever earned that much money? And of those, how many do you think would be willing to just walk out of it? Or would instead they just sit around stroking their ego boners, like they do with everything else, covering their insecurities? “I’m so alpha, check out my money faggots”.

I won’t be content with what everyone else has. I know I deserve better. So I have to take steps to get there that normal people aren’t willing to take. Remember – if you do what everyone does, you’ll get what everyone else has got – which is fuck all.

If you really want to do this, then don’t forget – failure is just a mindset. You actually can’t fail if you refuse to accept failure as a valid outcome. You either succeed, or you die trying. Do you want be the man who can look himself in the eye in the mirror and know he is trying everything he can to achieve his biggest dreams? Or do you want to be the man who looks at himself, shouts “you’re the man!” because he shagged a few 7s and earns above national average wage, ignoring the little voice inside his head telling him he’s lying to himself? You decide. But don’t come and try to pretend to me that you’re living the life you really want to if you pick the latter option. I can see straight through your hollow “masculine language” and proclamations of “alphaness” in a nanosecond.

I’ve come to realise over the past year or so of blogging that even amongst this part of the internet, 95% of people don’t actually want to genuinely achieve real success. They’re content with just being able to pick up a few women, get a couple of muscles, and tell themselves how great they are, because they don’t want to risk their fragile little egos by failing. I’ve explained almost every detail of what is required to have a successful mindset in various posts, in order to actually achieve true success in life, and every time I write, I can just hear the whooshing noise as it goes over nearly everyone’s heads.

To those of you who appreciate what I write – thank you, and I hope it helps you in some way. I’ll see you in Monaco on the superyacht.


In case you didn’t know what one looked like

To the rest of you – enjoy your life of “a bit better than most”, and I hope when you get to the end of it, you don’t look back and realise you pussied out of going after what you really wanted, because you were afraid to fail.

So where does this leave me now? Time to put up or shut up. I can walk back into a job in London within a week any time I choose. But I’m not going to do that. Earning more than most of the population is utter failure to me. Learning to trade is a process that usually takes years. It attracts the brightest and most ambitious minds in the world, and 5% of the market takes the other 95%’s money – it’s an uphill battle, and I’m aiming to turn it around inside of 6 months. The one circumstance under which I would be prepared to work again is when I am consistently making profit from trading, and I simply need to raise capital to accelerate the process. But even then I probably wouldn’t- I have several wealthy friends who are willing to invest in me.

I’m also deactivating my Twitter account, as it’s becoming an unwelcome distraction. Those friends I have made have other ways to get in touch, and I can always be reached on email here. It’s like bad soap opera these days, and I simply can’t take anything from it any more. You have to surround yourself with like-minded people to get to where you want to go, and I can’t find many where I’m looking currently. MattC hit the nail on the head with his post Power and Status last year.

I’ll still continue to blog now and again, detailing more elements of what is takes to get to where you want to go in life for those who are interested. Discipline. Mastery of the mind. Destroying insecurity. How to tackle a goal piece by piece.

Ciao for now.

26 thoughts on “Ambition

  1. Pingback: Ambition |

  2. Like you said, time to put up or shut up … out of curiosity, what line of work were you in before you took up trading?

  3. How would you learn to be one of those top %5 traders? In 6 months? There are many stories of dudes who say they’ll take up day trading and never really get anywhere with it, even if they diligently study a university degree’s worth of books. Your also competing with bank trading desks, HFT guys who are always faster than you and so on.

    • Without getting too long winded – the key is supply and demand. The financial institutions control the markets with stacks of orders worth £100m’s at various levels. You don’t of course know these, but price action leaves telltale footprints that give them away if you know what to look for. This enables you to highlight these levels on a chart with horizontal lines. You then trade from line to line. The single most important thing however is an effective money management system which protects your capital at all times. You don’t get rich by winning – you get rich by consistently not losing.

      • So you get your edge by inferring phantom order books. Sounds pretty tricky, but my investment experience level is index funds! Tell us how it goes later.

      • The order books are very much real – when you’ve been doing it for a little while, you start seeing price turn almost to a pip on the lines you’ve drawn in advance based on the previous price action. It’s a thing of beauty 🙂

        If you’re interested, Sam Seiden is the one who popularised the concept to the wider world. You can apply S&D to any market. Check out his videos here, the one from 11th April 2013 is a good starting point.

  4. Do you believe success can be measured in other ways, for example for doctors in FSU countries where climbing the ladder doesn’t mean more money but rather more knowledge and more work? And it´s not really free market and you are not “free” at all. Success means less free time and chaotic schedule. Yet those people are usually the brightest minds, very motivated and disciplined.

    • It sounds like your talking about success in the world of academia, which is not the same. Although I’d vouch they wouldn’t turn down the millions.

      In Western society, the metric by which personal success tends to be determined is money, power and status. That’s how I will gauge my own level of achievement.

      Some people will have different criteria, where simply earning a decent living and having a comfortable live is sufficient. Those people have low ambition, either through lack of imagination or through fear of failure.

      Ultimately – why would you not want to be able to live life entirely on your own terms, to be able to experience the finest the world has to offer, free of any social or economic constraints?

      • Yes, I agree and I would want to live on my terms. These people often have atrocious fashion and use tram for transportation. They crave academic success, or want to do the most interesting surgeries, or to have access to the most bizarre cases to run some experimental treatment…they probably use different metric, but I don’t think they settle, in this socialised field “private experts” don’t exist, because to be good you need to do just the type of surgery that is done only in central hospital (for exactly this reason that to be good you need practice and there are few cases) and do it frequently etc.

  5. What would you recommend to someone(really young around 17 as well) who wants to get into trading in the fashion that you currently are? Do you think it would be wiser to trade in another way with a relatively low level of income?

    Btw this is probably a good post(or blog as a whole) for most people in the sphere to read. Like the guy at thesoulisnotasmithy says, a lot of this stuff is like mental masturbation. You can learn so much more by the reading of simple things(like you state) and applying it through trial and error. I personally find the same to be true for art Of course you’ll likely need things to model yourself after(people,art,attitudes,strategies) as you go along and make attempts. A lot of people who get to this part of the web don’t have any person in real life to say or create the situation of put up or shut up so ego protection and mediocrity can persist for long durations.

    And on another note, what are some of the things you mention on here about the basic behaviors in communication between genders to avoid? Could you recommend some specific readings? Not that I’m a lazy bum but it seems easier/quicker to ask.

    I appreciate the writings on here. You could be lying for all I know but a lot of what you write seems to align with applicable personal experiences and I think that has a decent value.

    • If I could go back 15 years and give my 17 year old self some advice, it would be – go into investment banking.

      You’ll learn how the whole thing operates from the inside, saving you years of pain of trying to figure it out. Plus it’s extremely lucrative. But it’s not for the faint of heart. You need to be intelligent, and prepared to sell your soul for the first few years. That said, if you do well, you can become a millionaire very quickly. A lot of the most successful investment bankers leave to start their own hedge funds.

      Consensus around the ‘net is that a combined Maths and Economics degree from LSE is the best possible leg up into investment banking.

      Wait for the picture of my Ferrari to arrive in a few years, then you’ll know I wasn’t lying 😉

      • I concur … I’m in my mid-thirties and have a net worth of approx. $750K after a ten year slog as a corporate lawyer in NYC … I realize now that I would have had at least several times that amount if I had instead taken the investment banking route though granted the hours and pressure would also have probably been more brutal …

      • Appreciate you linking that. I have most of those things down. I seem to remember reading that post, though it must have slipped my mind.

        Thanks for the tips. My mind has been on pursuing an art based career for multiple years now, and have been making connections with professionals (I’ve been working on developing my skills and understanding of it for a few years now), but this might be something worth looking into, even if it means going after art ed or linking up with students who go there and learning as much as possible (while sitting in on as many classes I can get to at decent universities around me as possible). Economic constraints can be annoying when you have wild ideas.

        And although I’m thinking the car comment was a joke, have you thought about getting a tesla over a rari?

      • Pffft Tesla, are you kidding! Where’s the pedigree, the effortless style, the decades of heritage, the class? No not kidding, got my heart set on one.

        If Art is your passion, you will derive great happiness from working on it, but you have to accept that it’s not going to be a path that is likely to lead to riches, unless you’re really good.

        Perhaps get rich first, and then you’ll have all the freedom in the world to pursue your art. Delayed gratification, a vital life skill which not many possess!

  6. Good stuff. Your resolve is admirable – by breaking your golden handcuffs and refusing to settle for a six figure job I think you won’t have a motivation problem.

    I identify with the mentality of getting filthy fucking rich through other means than the conventional method. No one ever got famously wealthy by working at a desk.

  7. Pingback: Lightning Round | Free Northerner

  8. I get the feeling that many people around this part of the net are perhaps inflating their lifestyles and making it seem like they are greater than they really are. That’s why there are only a few blogs I still bother to read that provide what I perceive to be real value.

    £250kpa is a lot of money. I’m actually very surprised salaries as lucrative as this are possible for developers. Sitting here with my shitty graduate starting salary, I realise how great the journey ahead of me is and how far I have to go. I know I want to spend a minimal amount of time in the corporate world, and not be afraid to take the plunge and start something: a business, blog, brand, whatever.

    Good to see you posting again.

    • Salaries of £800-£1000/day aren’t uncommon in front office development contracts in investment banks.

      Honestly, I’d recommend anyone to start studying up on trading as soon as possible. It’s the single best way out of corporate work.

      • Is it not just gambling though? Can you really, honestly make a full time living with it, and do you not need a load of cash just to get started?

      • In answer to your questions – no, yes, and no. 🙂
        You define a strict set of rules which you follow in order to enter a trade, and stick to them. Once in the trade, provided it doesn’t immediately go against you (which it won’t if you picked your entry point correctly, which you can with experience), you can make the trade a no-lose trade by averaging your position.

        Many people have become millionaires, some even billionaires – so yes, you can very easily make a full time living.

        Nowadays, many brokers realise a lot of people don’t have huge sums of money to chuck at the markets, so you can trade in what is known as “nano lots.” You can get started with just £100.

    • Sorry, the reason for my question about loads of cash being needed to get started is that I’ve read online you can only expect a “reasonable return” of 5% a year or so. So in order to make 20k a year, you’d need to invest 400k. I take it you believe returns greater than this are possible?

      • 5% a year is paltry. That’s what you’ll get if you put your money into a share tracker. If someone is trading full time, and only getting a 5% return, I would suggest they review their approach.

        The idea is to study study study until you can get the majority of your bets correct, and use an intelligent money management system which can rapidly multiply your winnings whilst minimising your losses.

        Put it this way – I’m starting with £2k next month, and I hope to be able to double it within 2 months.

        It’s not easy though, and you’ll need to be on the right track from the start. The Naked Trader is ok as a very very basic intro into stocks and shares, but it’s limited.

        I believe the forex markets are a better bet for trading, as there are less factors at play which push the price around compared to shares, therefore it’s possible to apply technical analysis of the chart in a more consistent manner.

        Learn this from the start: the single most important factor to understanding where the price is going, and where it is likely to reverse from, is Supply & Demand. You cannot realistically expect to trade consistently profitably as a amateur without knowledge of this concept. Don’t let anyone tell you that you need indicators and oscillators to draw squiggly lines all over your charts – you don’t. All you need is a “naked” candlestick chart, and some horizontal lines representing significant levels of supply and demand to trade in between.

        Sam Seiden is the “authority” on the matter, Check out his videos here, starting with this one

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