My good friend Matt over at the 3 Bromigos recently put up a post, criticising many members of the manosphere for perhaps not being the kind of men that they appear to be – glorifying and sensationalising their achievements in life – whilst attaching far too much importance to the tenets of game, eschewing greater focus on personal improvement.
Judging from the responses, the post – as expected – was somewhat controversial. To criticise game, and those who teach it, is anathema for many in this part of the internet. Some comments, to my mind, missed the point of the post. Running along the lines of “So what if you don’t find value in it, just don’t read it”, these comments fail to address the salient issue.
Many men find themselves in this part of the internet, having been on the receiving end of infidelity from a cheating girlfriend, or having been crushed by their latest rejection from a girl they were trying to romance. Guys who have hit rock bottom, and turned to the internet in desperation for an answer to their problems.
I will contend that the vast, vast majority of men would be best served in life by simply working on self improvement, raising their self esteem, and finding a nice girlfriend, whom they know how to keep through their knowledge of social dynamics. That’s it. No more.
Do they need to get “50 notches”? Do they need to read a treatsie on the subtle differences of day game and night game? Do they need 27 different techniques to overcome LMR? Do they need to beat their emotions and soul into a quivering heap by suffering the indignity of 10,000 street rejections? Unequivocally, no, they do not.
Of course, no-one in the manosphere who writes about this stuff is directly forcing anyone to follow in their footsteps. But the lifestyle of the pick-up artist, trawling the streets and clubs day after day, bouncing from one shallow hookup to another with substandard women, is heavily glorified. And why wouldn’t it appeal to the kind of men who have never been able to even get one woman, let alone hundreds?
Every man has the right to make his own choice of the path he takes in life. But I really feel that the advice being given, the lifestyle being glorified, is highly detrimental to the pursuit of happiness for the vast majority of normal men. There is a tiny, tiny nucleus of men who are totally content leading such a mercenary lifestyle, and they are outliers. Emotional connection and companionship are basic human needs, and to deny them is to invite unhappiness, and set yourself back years on your journey towards fulfilment. What perhaps need only be a process that takes 12 months, becomes one of years, laced with bitterness towards women, and ultimate total objectification of them, resulting in the inability to find contentment from life.
And honestly – how many of these guys do you really believe are happy with the lifestyles they have chosen? You can almost see the cracks in the facade of their manic grins, as they boast about their latest conquest of a “hot girl” (who is actually a 6), all the while trying to convince themselves that if they keep shouting “I’m really happy!” loud enough, they might even start to believe it themselves, and subdue that gnawing chasm of loneliness in their souls that just won’t go away, no matter how many street approaches they do or how much game they learn…
Just look at Roosh’s recent “Anna” series. He rejected a relationship with a girl who by all accounts, and in his own words, was perfect for him, simply because he feared the deeper rejection that is risked when you fully open up to someone in a deeper commitment of a relationship. His ego can shrug off rejections from cold approach – “She doesn’t really know me, it was just the way I approached, she’d love me really if she got to know me” – but not so easily could it shrug off the crushing rejection of his true self, and so easier to just avoid it.
I promote self-improvement and healthy relationships with women who you are genuinely attracted to. There’s no such thing as “practising game” with women you are not really attracted to – all you are doing is damaging your self-esteem.
So in the interests of transparency, following Matt’s lead, and now that I’m finally free of the shackles of the corporate world, I’ve decided to show myself, so that you can know that I am who I say am, and I practise what I preach. Excuse the “selfie” style of the shot, but it was the best I had to hand without organising an impromptu photo shoot.
And should you think that somehow I’ve always looked like this, and life has been a walk in the part for me, here’s a photo of me from when I was 23. Self improvement works.