In The Interests Of Transparency

My good friend Matt over at the 3 Bromigos recently put up a post, criticising many members of the manosphere for perhaps not being the kind of men that they appear to be – glorifying and sensationalising their achievements in life – whilst attaching far too much importance to the tenets of game, eschewing greater focus on personal improvement.

Judging from the responses, the post – as expected – was somewhat controversial. To criticise game, and those who teach it, is anathema for many in this part of the internet. Some comments, to my mind, missed the point of the post. Running along the lines of “So what if you don’t find value in it, just don’t read it”, these comments fail to address the salient issue.

Many men find themselves in this part of the internet, having been on the receiving end of infidelity from a cheating girlfriend, or having been crushed by their latest rejection from a girl they were trying to romance. Guys who have hit rock bottom, and turned to the internet in desperation for an answer to their problems.

I will contend that the vast, vast majority of men would be best served in life by simply working on self improvement, raising their self esteem, and finding a nice girlfriend, whom they know how to keep through their knowledge of social dynamics. That’s it. No more.

Do they need to get “50 notches”? Do they need to read a treatsie on the subtle differences of day game and night game? Do they need 27 different techniques to overcome LMR? Do they need to beat their emotions and soul into a quivering heap by suffering the indignity of 10,000 street rejections? Unequivocally, no, they do not.

Of course, no-one in the manosphere who writes about this stuff is directly forcing anyone to follow in their footsteps. But the lifestyle of the pick-up artist, trawling the streets and clubs day after day, bouncing from one shallow hookup to another with substandard women, is heavily glorified. And why wouldn’t it appeal to the kind of men who have never been able to even get one woman, let alone hundreds?

Every man has the right to make his own choice of the path he takes in life. But I really feel that the advice being given, the lifestyle being glorified, is highly detrimental to the pursuit of happiness for the vast majority of normal men. There is a tiny, tiny nucleus of men who are totally content leading such a mercenary lifestyle, and they are outliers. Emotional connection and companionship are basic human needs, and to deny them is to invite unhappiness, and set yourself back years on your journey towards fulfilment. What perhaps need only be a process that takes 12 months, becomes one of years, laced with bitterness towards women, and ultimate total objectification of them, resulting in the inability to find contentment from life.

And honestly – how many of these guys do you really believe are happy with the lifestyles they have chosen? You can almost see the cracks in the facade of their manic grins, as they boast about their latest conquest of a “hot girl” (who is actually a 6), all the while trying to convince themselves that if they keep shouting “I’m really happy!” loud enough, they might even start to believe it themselves, and subdue that gnawing chasm of loneliness in their souls that just won’t go away, no matter how many street approaches they do or how much game they learn…

Just look at Roosh’s recent “Anna” series. He rejected a relationship with a girl who by all accounts, and in his own words, was perfect for him, simply because he feared the deeper rejection that is risked when you fully open up to someone in a deeper commitment of a relationship. His ego can shrug off rejections from cold approach – “She doesn’t really know me, it was just the way I approached, she’d love me really if she got to know me” – but not so easily could it shrug off the crushing rejection of his true self, and so easier to just avoid it.

I promote self-improvement and healthy relationships with women who you are genuinely attracted to. There’s no such thing as “practising game” with women you are not really attracted to – all you are doing is damaging your self-esteem.

So in the interests of transparency, following Matt’s lead, and now that I’m finally free of the shackles of the corporate world, I’ve decided to show myself, so that you can know that I am who I say am, and I practise what I preach. Excuse the “selfie” style of the shot, but it was the best I had to hand without organising an impromptu photo shoot.

And should you think that somehow I’ve always looked like this, and life has been a walk in the part for me, here’s a photo of me from when I was 23. Self improvement works.

Although, still good with pussy

Merry Christmas.

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42 thoughts on “In The Interests Of Transparency

  1. Great post and the best example to add weight to your words is that series by Roosh. Many look up to him and it’s their choice to, but they’re looking up to his internet persona and emptiness and unhappiness as a person which he has very openly displayed. It’s almost like he knows it, but refuses to believe it.

    Most guys are the same. They refuse to believe they’re unhappy and will keep plowing on in an effort to convince themselves they’re happy. From my experience, the good looking guys with charisma, money and a lifestyle to boast about who are serial womanisers are the closest ones to being happy out of the lot. The rest, or the bottom of the pile, won’t be pulling the quality they want and therefore don’t have the motivation to get something valuable out of game. They just see it as a tool to whip out whenever the situation arises. It’s not really them, they know it, and even if they don’t want to say it or accept it, girls aren’t falling for them and it will grain on them and drive them into more and more bitterness as time goes on and each time they get their tricks out. Eventually, they’ll start to hate the behaviour of women reacting to their tricks but not who they are. By then, it’s perhaps too late to travel down the path of self improvement.

  2. The Lucky Lothario

    There’s that smug looking mug of yours. I suppose you figure that’s your Christmas present to your readers eh?

    I mostly agree with this post but would add that the most important thing would be self honesty and the ability to forge your own path rather than being swayed by the priorities of the less balanced members of this community. There is a lot of good information out there, but a lot of it is attached to the ego driven philosophies of its authors.

    Merry Christmas mate, let’s make sure we grab a drink before you leave England for good.

  3. An excellent post; this blog represents much of what I’d like to achieve a few years down the line.

    I think perhaps the best explanation for the proliferation of the manosphere, and the accompanying dissemination of ‘game’, has to do with the fact that the vast majority of guys don’t have the balls to confront the most basic and readily apparent problems. They’ve known of these obstacles years before they’ve ever even stumbled on any kind of PUA material, but the simple act of doing something like going to the gym, wholeheartedly pursuing a career or taking up an interesting hobby is so prohibitively painful that they’d rather seek comfort in theory and abstractions.

    There’s a reason attractive guys are few and far between: because it takes hard fucking work to be one.

  4. Great post. Sums up why I’m even reading manosphere blogs in the first place. You need to keep it moving and become a better person everyday. What a lot of manosphere bloggers don’t understand is that self-improvement is different from satisfying your ego.

    Just started my red-pill journey a few months ago and realized that very few bloggers teach self-improvement. Thankfully, you’re one of them. Good job and happy holidays brother.

  5. That picture of you as a young lad!

    Your tweets are getting retweeted a lot by my followers, really good stuff. Catch you for a drink sometime soon, if not I guess somewhere exotic.

  6. Sweet baby Jesus, you’re one sexy motherfucker.

    You and I see eye-to-eye on moving away from PUA into actually improving yourself as a person. Great stuff as always, cheers.

  7. Great post brother. The best part of the ‘sphere is IMO, that it will give you motivation to improve. Sadly to say most guys just float like leaves in the breeze and have no motivation.

    The knowledge that improvement is possible is the catalyst, because too many guys I believe, tend to think that it isn’t.

    The key IMO is to have your own goals and identity, and not let others sway you from your path along the road. That is not what a powerful man does.

    I’m far from where I need to be, but I intend to get there.

  8. Hello,
    I noticed you criticise Krauser quite often in your posts for taking the Game thing too far. However, he always mentions that when low value PUA master is rejected by a high value girl, the sexual marketplace functions properly. Also, in his series “Life is a project”, he basically recommends gym, fashion, having a skill people pay for -medicine, law, programming – and having intelligent hobbies – studying systems, finance etc. So the only fundamental difference between him and you I see is that he deciced to perfect Daygame model at the expense of fidning inner peace. For now, at least. Or maybe novelty and SIgma lifestyle are more important to him. Would you agree that as a source for learning Game he may be top due to his perfectionalism in this area(INTJ personality type)? They’re also close friends with Jabba and he very often quotes him or invited him for a quest post, so I would be surprised if they didn’t talk about their differences etc., especially when the now collaborate. I read a book by Jabba and it’s excellent, but from purely game perspective, Krauser, i think, can describe underlying principles better. Sure, Jabba may be more self development oriented, but how much of it is because he was good loking to begin with? Someone like Yad, Krauser or Tom Torero -how realistic is it for them to become The Chosen? (ripped, top fashion, beauty etc.)

    • I’ve met Jabba, and the guy is authentic in his approach to pulling women – natural, and doesn’t use any stupid tricks or routines, and pulls generally attractive women. Kruaser seems in many ways the exact opposite of this. His entire persona when dealing with women is learned by rote. He says the same things to every girls he talks to on the streets, over and over again. It’s all just a giant facade, and he doesn’t pull particularly hot women. Several people I know have met him, and all say he’s an entirely weird socially maladjusted character. It boils down to authenticity versus inauthenticity. One I promote, one I do not.

      He advocates going to the gym, fashion etc – but have you seen him? It doesn’t appear he follows his own advice very enthusiastically.

      With reference to “was it because he was good looking to begin with” – I refer you to the picture of me from when I was 23. Instead of spending day after day cold approaching countless 6s and 7s on the street, I was working on my fundamentals, and now I am reaping the rewards. It is entirely realistic for any man to be able to put himself into the top 10% of attractiveness with sufficient effort.

      The thing is mate, 99% of guys don’t want to do this. It’s too much hard work for them. They just want a magic bullet – the right thing to say, the right thing to do. Some of them make a career out of it. Ultimately, they’re not happy because they know in their hearts that they aren’t being authentic – the women like their facade, not their real selves. And they’re certainly not good role models. “Game” the Krauser style is a soulless, undignified circus of what it is to be a man.

      If you work hard enough on raising your value, all these “alpha” traits you study so hard, work to adopt – you just start doing them naturally, without even thinking. Except if you spend all your available time studying and practising “game”, you’re not going to get there. A basic working knowledge of social dynamics is all that is requires – how to avoid unattractive behaviours, and how to understand women. The rest will come automatically with dedication.

      • Thanks for the response, I’ll try to do my best although I am lazy and often trapped in theory whether it’s the best gym approach or Game. I also tend to choose the easier way – just eat real food, no calorie counting, low frequency/high intensity gym protocols etc. instead of calorie counting and higher frequency because it’s not “efficient” and the easier way promises most of the results. It delivers some, though.

      • There’s nothing wrong with abbreviated workouts – they’re optimally efficient for building the most muscle in the least amount of time.

        I have 3 days – chest day, back day, and leg day. I do them in 3 consecutive days, then take a rest day, and then repeat. Each session takes around 45 mins, no more.

        Use reverse pyramid training style for your sets (google will tell you about it). Proper technique on all exercises. Don’t let your ego get in the way by trying to lift weights that are too heavy with incorrect form.

        Chest day:
        Barbell bench press
        Barbell incline bench
        Crossovers
        Tricep (weighted dips)

        Back day:
        Deadlift
        Lat pulldown
        Pendlay row
        Biceps (preacher bar curls)

        Leg day:
        Squat (to depth)/leg press (alternate month by month)
        Calf raise
        Leg extension
        Standing overhead barbell press

        And a couple of sets of abs each time.

        In terms of developing your physique, it is 80% diet, 20% training. Look at my Leangains post for some ideas on how to set yourself specific calorie totals and macro amounts for each day.

        Theory is all well and good, but it’s all useless unless you actually put it into practise.

      • The guy even lays it out in clear English here:

        – Chosen
        + Easy. High lay count. Almost entirely positive responses.
        – Doesn’t travel outside the eco-system. By definition your value is higher than the girl’s. Girls are banging the image of you rather than you. Not possible for most men.

        I call bullshit on the underlined statement. It should read “not possible for most men because they don’t want to put years of effort in to actual hard work.

        Make yourself the chosen. It’s entirely possible. All the information you need is out there. All you need is a sense of entitlement and some motivation.

  9. It’s good to see you blog once again YouSoWould.

    How is the epic TRT post going? It would be interesting to hear your points on it.

    Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals… the word has to be bashed in many aspiring Spherists including myself. Though my goal with the gym is to be strong and athletic, not for aesthetics for now. Just need to stick to a program (Jump Science) for at least a year to see how it pans out.

    Mimic

    • Hey pal, thanks for the comment. You are entirely correct. Work on the fundamentals, and you make life easy. There aren’t any medals for making getting girls any harder than it needs to be – no-one gives a shit if she’s unto you for your “game” or the fact that you spent months of hard work making yourself genuinely stand out from the crowd.

      Danger & Play recently commented something like “people get muscles to build a shell around their ego”. I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Male hamster is strong with that one.

      The epic TRT post is still sat in my drafts folder! Hopefully I’ll find some motivation to get it out there. I intend for it to be a complete guide to every aspect – who needs it, blood testing, self administration of medication, health concerns etc. It’s going to end up pretty long.

      • One could argue that one obsession – perfect game model – is replaced by another – obsessive diet tracking and supplement usage. I totally agree game only helps to show your real value, but I am doubtful whether you need to be ripped. Maybe it’s about being good enough…like twice a week HIT for 30 minutes and real food diet, then some game. Building muscle is very long process with varying results among individuals (without steroids), so to me it makes sense to also perfect game. And you can stand out already even on consistently executed low volume protocol. Maybe that’s just me but I’ll probably go for those 80% of aesthetic results with what feels like minimal effort. Funnily enough, I originally was much more interested in bodybuilding than Game, which I found accidentally through youtube self-development channel. http://skylertanner.com/2011/04/02/the-six-year-itch-or-was-it-all-a-waste-of-time/

      • You don’t /need/ to be anything. But it’s about making the best quality women available to you with the least amount of effort. It’s all passive through your value.

        Have you ever been noticeably ripped? Have you ever been dressed in stylish clothes that fit your physique perfectly? Have you ever had the confidence that comes from knowing you have 10s of thousands of pounds in the bank? Wait until you can walk down a street and have 50% of the women check you out, and then tell me that you don’t /need/ anything.

        And no, you’re right, it’s not about being obsessive. It’s about doing the optimal amount to achieve 90% of the best results with a minimum of fuss. Would you say 4 or 5 times a week of 45 mins is obsessive? Most people spend double that watching mindless shit on TV or procrastinating on the Internet every day. Through practise and dedication, my exercise and nutrition plans are a seamless part of my life that requires no active consideration. It just requires some initial hard work to set it up.

  10. Ondrej, Czech Republic

    Ok. I wear brands like Gant, Armani, Trussardi etc. It’s fine, but physique improvement gives me much more than fashion, with fashion alone I feel like a cheater. And time you invest is adequate. What I wouldn’t do is TRT, growth hormone and macronutrient counting. Just the fact I would have to track calorie intake would decrease life quality and spontaneity you seem to value so much in “game”. Lion doesn’t count his calories. I get the need to track workout progress although Matt Perryman does a great job at debunking it as well in Squat Every Day. It’s just a painting on a building. If you remove it, the building is still there. Check it out, it’s a great book.

    • Brands don’t matter. It’s how it fits and how it accentuates your physique. A guy will look better in a $20 shirt that is tailored to fit him than a $200+ Armani shirt that is baggy.

      Feel like a cheater? That’s an odd remark. Looking your best is nothing to do with random notions.

      TRT is only for those who medically need it. Growth is optional, but does make you feel fucking awesome.

      Macronutrient counting – is a time investment for a month or two to become familiar with most foods, then you just automatically know what’s in everything. I spend approximately 30 seconds a day thinking about my macros. To say it “decreases life quality” is ridiculous, and just sounds like you’re too lazy to bother.

      Whoever the hell Lion is, you are not him. If he’s some big ass weight lifter, as I suspect, he doesn’t count calories because he probably weighs over 100kg and spends 10 hours a week in the gym. You aren’t him, so you need to count calories to achieve the physique you want to. Calories in/calories out is a simple equation that will govern your results. I am not lying when I say that physique is 80% diet.

      Squatting every day is also ridiculous, and may suit particularly advanced trainers. Don’t get sucked into what these elite trainers do. It is not applicable. Focus on a broad programme.

      Not going to reply any more pal. I’ve given you plenty to go on with. But it sounds like you simply don’t want to put the hard work in. Forget about your advanced theories and focus on the fundamentals.

      • It seems there are people who love to be told about self-improvement then actually attempting to improve themselves.

        The internet is a bizzaro media world.

        Cheers for replying to my earlier message.

        Mimic.

      • Yes it’s a phenomenon I’ve been observing for years. People actually get a buzz from just reading about self improvement. They sit there in their mum’s basement, imagining themselves doing all these great things, feel good about themselves, and then don’t do any of it. Back in the day, Tyler from RSD used to call it mental masturbation.

        They are a dream for the marketers of self-improvement blogs and ebooks. These people will just buy product after product, never actually acting on any of it.

    • Ha ha ok, that explains why I couldn’t find anything about “him” on Google 🙂 Well Lions don’t need to count calories because they are living the lives they’ve evolved for over millions of years, whilst we humans are not. Instead of spending all day out hunting animals on the plains and eating meat, we’re sat in front of computers all day eating processed shit.

      • Ondrej, Czech Republic

        True. I realise I come across as lazy motherfucker and it is partially true. I’ll still try to pick the low hanging fruit first – HIT, real food…but I’m ready to get more serious, probably through Tom Venuto’s “Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle” book. It’s diet monitoring and multiple set hypertrophy oriented routine doable at home with dumbbells. Simply all variables as optimised as it gets. I already wanted to try Max Muscle plan by Schoenfeld who is the world n.1 hypertrophy expert, but his routines are just not very doable at home where I train.

    • Cheers pal. Figured I’ve got nothing to hide, I’ll state and stand by my views face to face to anyone in “real life” so don’t see why this should be any different.

      • exactly. i won’t call anyone out for blogging anonymously, but the guys that post open are a differnt breed. i got nothing to hide. nver had, never will. and i’m NO WHERE near as dreamy as you. lol.

        i do well, DESPITE what certain other commenters here would preach as game “truth”.

  11. “Of course, no-one in the manosphere who writes about this stuff is directly forcing anyone to follow in their footsteps.”

    I agree with this statement.

    And, no one’s forcing anybody to read anything. Writing isn’t all that easy, or fun. Ultimately, bloggers are using valuable time and expending energy to write and publish *mostly* free content.

    Agreeing with, or enjoying, that content is a matter of personal opinion. But I think we can all agree that most manosphere writers are a damn site more interesting/entertaining than most of the trash that passes for content these days. If people don’t like what we have to offer, well, then they can go elsewhere. Fuck em’

    And damn man, quite a change between those two pics. Digging the orange pussy though 😉

  12. A lot of women read this stuff too you know because they need help building self esteem and approaching people. You all treat female readers and commentors like garbage and all they are trying to do his transform themselves into the high quality girls you talk about. Trying to learn not to be shy or what to say or wear to attract guys. They have an inner kitten hugger too. All the hotties you see at the bar might have been plain janes to start. It just bothers me to think that you felt the females who were in your same category when you were hugging that kitten weren’t good enough. You being a special snowflake felt you deserved 10s and had to change yourself to fool the world. While it is nice to see that you have a more positive attitude toward life and women it just still proves that most men are selfish jerks who use women as status symbols. Women are still your cum dumpster whores to parade around to your friends to vindicate the kitten huggers in you all. What about when your hairline starts receding? Or you start getting wrinkles and age spots what then? Your value can change too. Some women will never be busty or curvy or tall or blonde. And you think they are trash because they don’t give you oral and status. At least you aren’t a coward anymore talking about how great you are behind the comfort of a computer.

    • I’d advise women needing help with self esteem to read self-help written by women. I write for a male mindset with a male audience in mind. It’s inherently different than what you need, unless you’re aspiring to be a successful man.

      Personally, I don’t treat female commenters like anything – I don’t get any. As for other bloggers, remember you’re commenting on the manosphere, what is supposed to be a male only space, so don’t complain if you don’t get your ass kissed.

      Here’s all you need to do to attract guys – be hot, and don’t be a bitch.

      I’m entitled to whatever I feel I am entitled to, if I can raise my value to match it – which I did. I’m fooling no-one, I genuinely became a different person.

      You’ve got a lot of anger and bitterness towards men. There’s no point getting angry at the facts of the world – men value beauty in women above all else. If you want a high value, attractive man, then instead of complaining, I suggest you take up a gym membership, dress nicely, and get cosmetic surgery if you’re lacking in the looks department. You will be happier.

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