What is it?

The unshakeable core belief that you deserve a certain standard from life. The unwillingness to tolerate anything other than the level which you feel you are owed. The knowledge, deep down, that you are better than other people, and should have more than they have. It can be in any area – women, respect, money. Usually it will be in all at once.

Why do I want it?

Without it:

  • you’ll get nervous before dates because you don’t think you are worthy of the girls you are meeting
  • you’ll never feel like you genuinely deserve top quality women, instead relying on scripted openers and lines, making every conversation follow the same pattern, implementing some rigid structure of “frame control” or “intellectual mastery” when interacting with girls – since deep down you don’t believe your own, real personality is good enough
  • opportunities will pass you by, because you never felt you were good enough for them

With it:

  • you won’t allow yourself to be treated badly, by any man or woman
  • you won’t tolerate bad behaviour, because you know you deserve better
  • you’ll get more out of life – people treat you how you allow them to. You allow people to treat you how you expect to be treated
  • you’ll stop scrubbing around with girls of lower quality than those which you have already achieved just to get your end away, because you know that to do so would be to lower yourself below your own standards, which is unacceptable to you

How do I get it?

Some people have an irrationally high sense of entitlement instilled in them from their youth. It drives them to achieve the level that they feel is rightfully theirs.

For the rest of us, we gain it by raising our value. Through rigid adherence to the process of continual self-improvement. Earn more. Dress better, Be in better shape. Be more social. Learn more. Travel more. Once we have raised our value, we may observe solid, demonstrable facts that we are higher value than those people around us. We dress better. We earn more. We are wittier. More travelled. More dominant. Cold hard logic therefore dictates to us that we should have more than these other people.

Are there any downsides?

Yes. You must never allow a sense of entitlement to make you behave like a dick towards other people. Holding a firm belief in your heart that you deserve the best is one thing, but treating others with contempt or scorn because of it merely makes you an arrogant dickhead.

Also, an over-inflated sense of entitlement that is not justified by your actual value, and is not accompanied by sufficiently well-developed social skills is something to be avoided. If you have the entitlement without the value, then your behaviour, body language and social skills better display total congruence with it (professional con artists specialise in this) – it’s no good being a basement-dwelling neckbeard who thinks he deserves a supermodel wife. Otherwise those people who have actually earned the level you are pretending to will think you are a wanker, and you will not get what you want. The hard work has to come first before you get to start reaping the rewards. Many women in Western society are prime examples of this – because they continually have smoke blown up their arses by hordes of beta supplicants, they gain a sense of entitlement far above their actual value as dictated by cold, hard physical facts.

11 thoughts on “Entitlement

  1. Your post – and the guidelines you espouse within – would garner more credibility if you actually gave some real-world examples of YOUR own SPECIFIC successes/results that you have had by adhering to the principles you outline above. Otherwise, your post reminds me of being a recruitment consultant reading other people’s CVs where they say they have this or that particular skill, without giving concrete, demonstrable examples of how they used them and the outcome of doing so.

    In addition, I have to disagree with this: “The knowledge, deep down, that you are better than other people.” If you find that is the case, you need to surround yourself with people who are more intellectually satisfying to socialise with and furthermore, who are in possession of a wider range of skill sets. To spend the majority of your existence thinking ‘deep down’ you are better than other people is verging on unhealthy (if not sociopathic).

    Finally, the second-half of this post was just a rehash of the concepts/ideas of the one last week: increase value; dress better; be more social, etc etc

    Anyway, I have high hopes (and realistic expectations) that these remarks will be construed as ‘constructive’, which is the spirit in which they were intended.. Firm but fair..

  2. Ok, interesting feedback, I’ll attempt to answer your points in the spirit in which they were raised.

    I’ve spoken about what I do specifically, and the reaction it causes from other people, many many times over the history of my blog. I’m not interested in being one of those bloggers who tries to “prove himself” by putting up boastful anecdotes all the time. You can judge the strength and veracity of my words from the manner in which they are written, the authority they convey, and how much it appeals to your common sense – or you can disregard them, it makes no difference to me. I’m merely trying to tell guys what I believe are the core principles to helping them achieve the identity-level change they desire.

    I’m comparing myself to everyone else in I encounter in my day to day life who isn’t part of my immediate peer group. To make a comment that can be measured by demonstrable, concrete, quantifiable metrics is not sociopathic. I don’t believe that I am inherently a better human being than they are, nor that my life has any more merit than their – indeed, I am clearly a somewhat vain and conceited individual – merely that I have greater success at a large number of things in which society puts weight. My actual peer group of very close friends whom I interact with on a daily basis are all individuals who I respect for a number of reasons, and not amongst those I “consider myself better than”.

    I appreciate that some of this might be rehashing things I’ve said before. The truth is, it’s very difficult to keep coming up with entirely fresh content week after week, but I’m trying to drive home the message that it is ambition and building value that will really bring you the kind of confidence, self-esteem and success that will make you happy, and not trying to emulate some “alpha bad boy” characteristics.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment. If you feel you have something more insightful or original to offer, then you are more than welcome to start your own blog, or if you already have one, direct me towards it…

  3. Thanks for the detailed reply and clarification of the points I raised in my original comments. I just have two, final points I would like to discuss because I don’t want the comments in your blog becoming congested with our musings..

    1. “I’m not interested in being one of those bloggers who tries to “prove himself” by putting up boastful anecdotes all the time.”

    You misunderstood me. When I said you should provide ‘real-world’ examples, what I meant was that it would be more credible to say things such as ‘When I was in Thailand/Cambodia/Brazil I did X which resulted in Y’ as opposed to ‘travel more.’ We at least then know you practice what you preach and moreover, have a concrete example of what happened when you applied a certain concept/idea you advocate or discuss on your blog and the outcome.

    2. “If you feel you have something more insightful or original to offer, then you are more than welcome to start your own blog.”

    Touche. However, when you put your ideas out for public consumption you should expect some criticism. I personally would be pleased someone’s taken the time and effort to write a clear and well-constructed critique. Surely more interesting than ‘yeah, couldn’t agree more’ sycophancy that is usually the order of the day within the manosphere?

    I will continue to read …

    • 1. This is merely just laziness on my part. As mentioned, throughout my blog archive, there are numerous examples where I discuss how I work out, how I improve my social skills, where I travelled to, how I get my clothes tailored etc etc – I just can’t be bothered to go back through everything every time I post and link it all in – this one was my 172nd blog post according to WordPress. This is only a hobby for me – if I was trying to earn a living my monetising my blog, then I’d take more time over it.

      2. Criticism is good and I welcome feedback such as yours – you seem like a reasonable, intelligent chap. If the tone of that remark came across a little snippy, then that wasn’t my intent – sometimes tone of voice (as it were) can be easy to misconstrue in purely textual communications.

      With regard to starting your own blog, it’s something I recommend to anyone who has more than a passing interest. I get lots of excellent comments from people who I think have many more insights to offer than I who don’t have their own space to put up their thoughts. Writing this blog, and the community it has exposed me to, has transformed the course of my life quite dramatically over the course of the last year, and I’ve met some very interesting people in person who I’d otherwise have never encountered.


  4. Entitlement to me…

    You have to work hard to earn it. Each day.

    Once you get to a better place…never forget you had to work hard each day to get there. Otherwise you’ll lose it.

  5. My example is 12 years of consistant lifting and exercise.

    I talked with a trainer yesterday who I just met who commented on my physique. I told him it I started off as a beanpole and it took 2 years of steady lifting to even see results.

    After that it’s been 10 years of steady maintence and changing it up. If I slack off…I’m back to that 150 pound weakling.

    That’s why if someone is hurt or jealous by what I look like…it doesn’t bother me. They don’t know what I had to go through to get there.

    • Hello pal. Well, that all seems a long time ago now! One thing led to another, and I’m now on a self-administered TRT regime, and feeling utterly awesome. I’m packing on muscle, losing fat, and I’ve got the sex drive of an 18 year old. If you use the search function with “testosterone” you’ll probably find the posts about it, but I’m going to put up a detailed overview of it all soon.

  6. I’d just like to say that I think the posts you have been writing for the past month or so have been outstanding. I’m really enjoying reading them, and I’d like to thank you for posting. Keep up the great work!

  7. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2013/08/07 | Free Northerner

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