Pandora’s Box

Pandora's Toolbox

As much as I sometimes like to write game related posts on here, and indeed they usually prove to be the most popular, I originally started this blog as a place to cathartically chart my progress through life’s trials and tribulations, and see no reason to stop now.

So after finally getting myself back on track, through judicious use of self-administered TRT (see here and here), I’ve found myself with a higher sex drive than I’ve ever known in my life. Every single flicker of skirt, glimpse of a curve of breast, has my head whipping round so fast my vision blurs. Some days, the testosterone courses through me so strongly, I literally clench my fists and tense every muscle with the sheer power of it. It’s truly an awesome sensation for someone who spent much of his life with the libido of an anaemic slug.

So, you would think consequently I’ve been out shagging anything that moves? I certainly thought I would have been. The reality of the situation is however that just because I’m suddenly interested in fucking again, it doesn’t spontaneously make 1000s of top quality women appear. I have a high standard for what I find physically attractive in women, and a low threshold for being annoyed by shallow and conceited people – put those two together, add in the fact I live in the UK, and I’m sure the picture becomes clear.

Also, as it happens, the sequence of events I set in place when I lined up the first date after I applied the first sachet of testosterone gel a couple of months ago, and I felt the masculinity course through my system. seems to be about to manifest into my first LTR for over 2 years – and the first once I’ve had since my “red pill awakening”. Knowing that I’d planned to go and travel the world after retiring at the end of the year, to see the sights, sounds, and fuck the women, I’ve been trying my best to keep her at arm’s length, but to no avail – I simply enjoy spending time with her so much that I keep inviting her over, and we’ve naturally just grown closer and closer together. I can tell that I actually genuinely like her, because I’ve stopped wanting to chase after other women. Quite so much πŸ˜‰

Honestly, I can’t fault the girl. She is feminine, affectionate, sweet, caring, intelligent, classy, elegant, pretty, olive-skinned, very low n-count, lithe and toned. She stands out a country mile from the almost all of the rest of the girls in this god-forsaken city – and of course is not English. She’s also very socially switched on – she’d even figured out the whole SMV peak vs age disparity of men vs women all by herself (and had been trying futilely to make her female friends, pissing away their youth, understand its significance).

Great, you might think – and indeed it is. Every day I see her, the person I have become as a result of all the knowledge of social skills, masculinity and female psychology that I’ve picked up over the last year or two, and all the self-improvement I’ve undertaken, makes me irresistibly attractive to her. Additionally, I am keeping a very firm hand on myself as well so as to not get carried away, the words “remember your training” going round and round in my head.

I’ve told her of my plans to emigrate at the end of the year, and she is cool with seeing me in the meantime with a view to just “see what happens”, but I can’t help but think already – what is the point of going haring off to the other side of the world, to chase an imagined ideal of pussy paradise, when I’ve already met a girl who measures up to everything I’ve been looking for? In a sense, I think visiting countries in places such as Latin America would be like opening Pandora’s box for me. On the one hand, I can stay here, continue to see this girl, and probably be very happy. On the other, I can stick to my original plans (which were admittedly largely based around chasing women) and go fly to the other side of the world, and risk having my head turned a million times by the allure of these exotic women – none of whom ultimately may end up being compatible with me due to cultural differences, and my extreme pickiness. Have I picked this girl because she stands out against a crowd of mediocrity in this country? Would I still have been drawn to her as much in a different place, at a difference time? And really – does it even matter?

I’m of course not going to make any decisions yet – it’s way too soon. And ultimately this kind of thing has a habit of resolving itself. When the day rolls around to buy my plane ticket for Brazil, I’ll know what it is I really want to do.

The last thing I ever want is to end up as a “master PUA pussy hound” – swimming in riches of available women, yet a pauper in being able to emotionally commit to a meaningful relationship to any one of them. Doomed forever to throw endless streams of women at the hole in our psyches, that we just can’t seem to quite fill no matter how hard we try.

It’s easy sometimes to lose sight of the reasons we get into this in the first place – for most of us I bet it is to gain the ability to acquire a top quality girlfriend. Along the journey, we suddenly realise we can shag a lot of different women all of a sudden, and giddy with power, we go on a spree of meaty destruction, until one day we look ourselves in the eye in the mirror, and aren’t quite sure who is looking back any more, and whether or not we’re truly happy with where we are at in our lives.

Sometimes, it is merely the hope of the imagined perfect future that compels us to keep moving on, never putting down roots, never opening ourselves up to any one woman, instead of appreciating what we have right now in the present. Let’s not forget, life really does gain a lot more meaning when you have someone significant to share it with.


19 thoughts on “Pandora’s Box

  1. A very similar situation to my Slovakian the other month. There are several factors which will make you feel good about this girl you’re seeing and will have you not wanting to end it, and as you’ve mentioned the environment will separate her and put her on a level above most of what we see in this city. That will affect your decision making and the way you see this girl.

    We’ll most likely talk about this more in person and I don’t want to say anything to put a negative spin on the situation, especially since I was in the same boat as you.

    I don’t know your past experiences with girls who have had red pill thoughts like this one clearly has, but from my own experience I was really shocked when I met the first girl that knew about sexual marketplace values, and I saw her as a bit more precious than others. Then I met more foreign girls with the same thoughts.

    There’s no point ending something for the sake of not fitting into a “red pill code” or anything, so I largely agree with your viewpoint and saying to each other about just seeing what happens. Obviously, my situation was a bit different, but I would’ve liked to have continued much like I see you probably will.

    Still, I wanna see you in Brazil next year! πŸ˜‰

  2. As difficult as it may be, I think you owe it to yourself to at least tackle brazil if not Colombia and Argentina. Not pulling the one-itis card, just saying that if she is still all that and a bag of chips, she will still be there waiting after your south america spree. The femininity there is so refreshing (and almost extreme) that you would neglect the animal in you if you did not venture out to that that unskirted territory.

    • I think I’ll still head out there – there’s a really cool plan laid out with a few guys to run a bar. If I’m still with the girl though, I’ll probably come back sooner rather than later. One of the main reasons I wanted to go there was to increase the likelihood of finding a good girl who matched up to what I was looking for. The prospect of endless pussy hounding doesn’t really fill me with the same excitement it did a few years ago.

      “All that and a bag of chips” – good phrase.

      • Running a bar? Oh stop it……that would be so fucking awesome. Where in Brazil you got in mind?

      • fuck i might have to join ya haha ill be the chef. Damn that would be so epic… it something you have seriously looked into and believe is possible to do?

      • haha wicked, just realized i forgot my name. Wish some of my pals were on that level. To far down the blue pill road now to try and save anyway. Gonna have to lone soldier it.

      • My advice – start blogging, and reach out to your fellow bloggers. The most interesting people I’ve met in the last year have all been through this blog

      • Was thinking of doing something along the lines of “anabolic kid”, to try help the dudes get to the physical stage they want faster. Still long way to go myself but have learnt a lot and think i understand the blueprint. What you reckon?

      • Honestly, I don’t know how that would go over. There is a lot of stigma (all from demonisation in the media) around the term “steroids” even for educated guys – I admit that I was guilty of this myself before I ended up on TRT. It’d definitely be good though to have a resource to de-mystify it all. I think you’d get a lot of search traffic from steroid related terms.

      • Would of assumed people being “red pill” and all round here they would be more open to it. If people knew the truth of the matter then they’d be kinda stupid not to considering the benefits i.e increased red blood cell count, improved immune system, improved skin, the list goes on. But yea man i’ll give it a little think, apologies for hijacking your post.

  3. “….On the other, I can stick to my original plans (which were admittedly largely based around chasing women) and go fly to the other side of the world, and risk having my head turned a million times by the allure of these exotic women – none of whom ultimately may end up being compatible with me due to cultural differences, and my extreme pickiness.”

    if you have dreams of seeing the world. do it. but don’t do it under the guile of “chasing women”. women come and go like trains. your time on this ball of dirt is fintie, make the most of it. while in the process of doing so, use what you’ve learned to screen for a woman you deem appropriate.

    and let’s be honest; sounds like you found a good one. you should look into that. trust me on this.

    BUT, if seeing the world is your dream, go after it.

    • I’ve seen quite a bit of the world already, on my own, and it was good, although a little forgettable – most if it went in a cloud of boozing.

      I’m in a phase right now where I’m a little bored with just chasing skirt for the sake of it, and so the reason I wanted to go visit all these countries, with feminine women, was to increase my chances of meeting a good girl.

      So yeah, you’re right – if I’ve already found one, then I’d rather go see the world with her in tow, instead of chasing some idealised notion of a perfect woman which might not even exist.

  4. Sadly, there’s no right choice. Just several choices and several outcomes. It’s the rare person that gets to ‘have it all’.

  5. I’ll offer you my ignorance…make a decision and stick with it.

    A man is happiest in a prison of his own choosing.

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