Periodically I feel compelled to do a post on some game basics, instead of my usual narcissistic rambling. So here’s a quick post on the topic of eye contact. I know this has been covered to death in the ‘sphere, but here’s my take on it.
Things to do:
- If you see a girl you like who isn’t already looking at you, look at her eyes
- When she turns and you make eye contact, HOLD IT. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES look away first. When you first start doing this, you’re going to find the tension almost unbearable. Revel in it. Let it soak into you. Welcome the tension. If you look away, you lose. That means she has higher social dominance than you. Unlucky.
- If she’s already looking at you, and then you meet her gaze, then apply the same process as above
- Whatever you do, do not look away and then keep looking back. Do NOT try to look out the side of your eye without being noticed. You will look sleazy and creepy. Why would you try to hide the fact that you are appreciating her? Are you ashamed of being a man?
- If the eye contact goes on for some time, smile a little to ease the tension. Let the warmth of the smile genuinely touch your eyes. Smile because you are genuinely enjoying the experience, not a weird robot smile that doesn’t touch the rest of your face. She will reciprocate, every time.
- This is probably the most important of all – try to project masculine intent in your gaze. Steady and clear, but also with an edge that lets her know that you are a man who owns his own sexuality, and are completely capable of ravishing her at any time. Do not leer.
- If the girl only very briefly makes eye contact before looking away again, continue looking at her. Don’t budge your gaze. Provided you’ve got the correct type of gaze (“sexy eyes”), she will look back once, twice, three times. When you know you’ve got her interested, you can then look away and smile, breaking the gaze on your own terms.
- Personally, at this point, I like to look just past the side of the girl’s head, so I can still see where she is looking out of my peripheral vision, without staring at her. Bear in mind that you do not want to come across intimidating.
- When you break a gaze, always break it to the side – never downwards, which indicates submission
I play these games all the time on the tube. Ideally, upon having eye contact returned strongly by a girl who you think is worth chatting up, you would approach with a simple line along the lines of “Hey, you can’t look at me like that and then not say hi!” (hat tip to LaidNYC). It’s pretty hard to do this on a packed tube however, and 99% of the girls aren’t worth the effort anyway here in London.
I particularly enjoy doing this whilst walking down the street. The fact that you’re both in motion and will soon be past one another relieves some of the social tension, and girls will be more open about returning your gaze. I’m almost at the point where I can get a girl to stop dead in her tracks with just a look. I’ve had a few of them slow right down, and almost stumble, before catching themselves and continuing on their way. I’ll get there though. Again, if you get very strong eye contact returned, and you think she is cute, just slow down your walk and cut in front of her slightly so she has to stop, and use the line above. This is WAY easier and more socially adjusted than springing out in front of someone from behind.
If you are starting from a point where you find eye contact difficult, you can practise in “safer” situations. Examples are when you are on a train platform, and there is a girl on the train, or vice versa. There is a physical barrier preventing you from actually interacting, so both parties feel more at ease making strong eye contact with the worry of having to follow it up. Also good is when you are going up an escalator, and there is a girl going down the other side. Use these “safe” situations to get yourself acclimatised to making and holding eye contact, but don’t get stuck there for too long. Remember – the end goal is to actually make an approach.
The main benefit of mastering good eye contact is that you can literally use it to “force” an IOI where there wasn’t one before, turning a purely cold approach into a warm one. I swear that I can have 90% of the battle won before I’ve even opened my mouth by the strength of my gaze. I’ve never done a completely “cold” approach in my life for this reason – I always warm the girl up first with my eyes.