Eye Contact

Eye Contact

Periodically I feel compelled to do a post on some game basics, instead of my usual narcissistic rambling. So here’s a quick post on the topic of eye contact. I know this has been covered to death in the ‘sphere, but here’s my take on it.

Things to do:

  • If you see a girl you like who isn’t already looking at you, look at her eyes
  • When she turns and you make eye contact, HOLD IT. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES look away first. When you first start doing this, you’re going to find the tension almost unbearable. Revel in it. Let it soak into you. Welcome the tension. If you look away, you lose. That means she has higher social dominance than you. Unlucky.
  • If she’s already looking at you, and then you meet her gaze, then apply the same process as above
  • Whatever you do, do not look away and then keep looking back. Do NOT try to look out the side of your eye without being noticed. You will look sleazy and creepy. Why would you try to hide the fact that you are appreciating her? Are you ashamed of being a man?
  • If the eye contact goes on for some time, smile a little to ease the tension. Let the warmth of the smile genuinely touch your eyes. Smile because you are genuinely enjoying the experience, not a weird robot smile that doesn’t touch the rest of your face. She will reciprocate, every time.
  • This is probably the most important of all – try to project masculine intent in your gaze. Steady and clear, but also with an edge that lets her know that you are a man who owns his own sexuality, and are completely capable of ravishing her at any time. Do not leer.
  • If the girl only very briefly makes eye contact before looking away again, continue looking at her. Don’t budge your gaze. Provided you’ve got the correct type of gaze (“sexy eyes”), she will look back once, twice, three times. When you know you’ve got her interested, you can then look away and smile, breaking the gaze on your own terms.
  • Personally, at this point, I like to look just past the side of the girl’s head, so I can still see where she is looking out of my peripheral vision, without staring at her. Bear in mind that you do not want to come across intimidating.
  • When you break a gaze, always break it to the side – never downwards, which indicates submission

I play these games all the time on the tube. Ideally, upon having eye contact returned strongly by a girl who you think is worth chatting up, you would approach with a simple line along the lines of “Hey, you can’t look at me like that and then not say hi!” (hat tip to LaidNYC). It’s pretty hard to do this on a packed tube however, and 99% of the girls aren’t worth the effort anyway here in London.

I particularly enjoy doing this whilst walking down the street. The fact that you’re both in motion and will soon be past one another relieves some of the social tension, and girls will be more open about returning your gaze. I’m almost at the point where I can get a girl to stop dead in her tracks with just a look. I’ve had a few of them slow right down, and almost stumble, before catching themselves and continuing on their way. I’ll get there though. Again, if you get very strong eye contact returned, and you think she is cute, just slow down your walk and cut in front of her slightly so she has to stop, and use the line above. This is WAY easier and more socially adjusted than springing out in front of someone from behind.

If you are starting from a point where you find eye contact difficult, you can practise in “safer” situations. Examples are when you are on a train platform, and there is a girl on the train, or vice versa. There is a physical barrier preventing you from actually interacting, so both parties feel more at ease making strong eye contact with the worry of having to follow it up. Also good is when you are going up an escalator, and there is a girl going down the other side. Use these “safe” situations to get yourself acclimatised to making and holding eye contact, but don’t get stuck there for too long. Remember – the end goal is to actually make an approach.

The main benefit of mastering good eye contact is that you can literally use it to “force” an IOI where there wasn’t one before, turning a purely cold approach into a warm one. I swear that I can have 90% of the battle won before I’ve even opened my mouth by the strength of my gaze. I’ve never done a completely “cold” approach in my life for this reason – I always warm the girl up first with my eyes.


18 thoughts on “Eye Contact

  1. Pingback: Eye Contact | Viva La Manosphere!

  2. Great post. I also do the stare to side of her hair head so I can see if she’s still interested. They look at you, and then away again, then back at you a lot more than they did when you were staring at them; it’s almost as if she’s worried she’s lost your attention and wants to see if you’re still interested.

    • I love when you know a girl has clocked you, and she starts trying to check you out without you noticing, her face assuming a studied expression of fixed innocence as her eyes dart crazily around in your direction. Some women are shockingly bad at being subtle!

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  4. Good post. My pre approach eye contact could be refined. Any tips for avoiding giving the leering impression? Is it mostly a matter of being overt and not covert?

    • Yes, got it in one. If you are ashamed of your desire, or consider yourself unworthy of the girl, you will look guilty or furtive, and come across creepy.

      Own your masculinity, and let it come through in your gaze. You want to convey that you’re a confident man who isn’t ashamed of his intentions. Smiling is a big plus point.

  5. Great guide. Matches my experience. Have you read the David Shade eye contact experiment?

    Here is the feminist version. The comment field is also worth reading for its claims by several of the women (including lesbians) that they are speaking for all women when they say women don`t want to be approached in the street and certainly not also told they are beautiful. Men who believe they have succeeded in this haven`t really the women where just playing along in fear of the man, etc.


    • It actually vaguely sickens me to read things like that, ostensibly written by a man. Does he even have a pair of balls?

      Still, I shan’t complain too much. The more herbs like him that exist, the better I look by comparison 😉

      • The Lucky Lothario

        Just skimmed that article and the comments. That is crazy that he feels he’s in a position to offer advice to anyone. All he’s written is be afraid. Be afraid to hold eye contact with anyone less you feel uncomfortable, they feel uncomfortable or god forbid someone have some form of social interaction.

        I don’t think I truly understood beta and the community of over-rationalising (pathetic) men out there, so actively ashamed of masculinity.

  6. I call it wolf eyes.

    Look at what a wolf’s eyes look like…and get that look down whenever you see a girl. If she has any semblance of a soul in there…she will respond.

  7. I will usually hold her eyes for no more than 20 seconds, then wink and smile. I will then give her a good up-and-down letting her know that I’m checking out the “goods” then come back to her eyes. If she’s still looking I shift my eyes from her to the chair next to me then raise and eyebrow. Most understand they have just been invited to join me, and more than a few will take me up on it. I’ve done this when I’m with another woman, and if anything it works better with competition.

  8. Pingback: Snake Eyes, You Lose - Simple Daygame

  9. Pingback: One Approach Per Day Is Good Enough « Ruxman

  10. ontheres this girl i like she is always staring at me even when i turn around she continue to stare one time she even bit her lip but she wont say one word to me its just so confusing i dont think her friends now she gay cause on time they asked her if she liked this guy and i was right there so she was like no!! sometimes i feel like shes interested then shes not idk but she talks to veryone else but me i really need help im not brave enough to start the conversation but im waiting for her to say something to me

    • You have to make the first move. If she’s looking at you and biting her lip, she’s flirting with you. If you wait for her, all you will be doing when you get home is masturbating.

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