Ambiverts

Much talk is often made of the majority of bloggers in the Manosphere probably originating as introverted characters, who learned to display some extrovert traits. Most comfortable with spending prolonged periods of time alone, social interactions have to be practised, and “stamina” accumulated over time. Eventually however, the introvert will become tired and revert to type, requiring time along to recharge.

Extroversion is usually seen as a desired trait, to thrive off being the centre of attention, and to effortless gain energy from large social groups. This in itself can be a curse however – prolonged periods of solitude for an extrovert can send them into a depressive state, and can in fact cause them to act in an overly exaggerated manner in gatherings simply to validate themselves.

This is however a third type of loose personality categorisation, which is often overlooked entirely – namely that of the ambivert. Ambiverts are comfortable spending time in social groups or on their own, but not to the same levels of extremes as extroverts or introverts respectively. In fact, this could actually be said to be more desirable than either extroversion or introversion, possessing some of the best qualities of both without the more severe symptoms.

You can take a quick online test here to determine your own characteristics – http://www.danpink.com/assessment

I was caused to reflect on this important distinction by a recent comment exchange whereby I discovered in myself an innate urge to curb what I consider to be extreme statements. Initially, I would have chalked this down to simple “people pleasing”, brought on by a need for validation of being like by others, and not wishing to offend people. Since I’m pretty well past that stage in my life however, I sense that it must be something more ingrained within me. I underwent a simple, online handwriting analysis about 7 years ago, and as I now recall, my overall personality type came out as ambivert, which was confirmed by the online assessment above.

It summarised the main trait of ambiversion as being able to get along with almost all types of people, except those displaying extreme character traits, to which you are repulsed. Keeping one eye firmly on wishing to avoid falling into the trap of applying generalised cold reading statements to myself, I can’t help but agree with this. I can hold a conversation for any length of time with almost anyone, from any walk of life, but I immediately label those people with outlying personality traits as wankers, and not worthy of my time.

Where do you fall on the spectrum?

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18 thoughts on “Ambiverts

  1. Pingback: Ambiverts | Viva La Manosphere!

  2. The Lucky Lothario

    Did the handwriting test also tell you that sometimes you’re a very thoughtful person who considers their actions fully while at other times you find yourself being very impulsive and just ‘going with the flow’? Do you sometimes find that people don’t always see in you what you see in yourself?

    In all seriousness, it’s probably ambiversion that we’re all aiming for in the sphere. The balance between self-awareness and lack of self-consciousness.

    • You know what, now you mention it… I was conned! I’m always very careful to try to avoid falling into the trap of applying generalised cold reading statements to myself. It’s why I always try to be so sceptical when I’m reading things like Koanic Soul, although in fairness his assessment of me based on my head shot was pretty damn good.

      I’ll see if I can dig the handwriting test up, would be interesting to see what other outcomes there are.

  3. It says I’m an ambivert.

    But I’ll admit in my teen and 20 years I was a huge introvert. I had a wild imagination and let it loose when I was a kid…but I was afraid to let it loose out into the world once I became an adult because I thought people would look at me crazy. Lo and behold thanks to the manosphere…I realize people with an imagination are becoming more and more rare so that it is easy for me to chat with people. Most people are bored with their life…so you become the life of the party if you have a different set of rules.

    Men…I stay mostly logical, but I like creating scenarios where you have to make a decision or there is a battle to be fought. Those are fun to banter around with.

    Women…I stay mostly emotional with logic lurking in the background. They love stories with imagination. It could be the dumbest story you could think of when you talk to a guy…but you have the right kind of emotion with a woman and she’ll get into it. Also have coded words for sex…they love that type of imagination.

  4. Ambivert = well-adjusted introvert. not really a special category IMO. but interesting to see. I scored ambivert. Sometimes I feel like getting some fresh air and discussing with a friend what I’ve been ruminating on all day. Other times I couldn’t feel better just getting away from all the random people.

    I think what helps is recognizing that as an introvert among extroverts that you don’t have to clamor for all the social attention. Social attention should serve you, not the other way around as extroverts seem to need it. When I realized this, it became one of the most immense social and mental freedoms ever.

    It helps to recognize the macro-cues of the situations going on around you, understanding when to speak and when to be quiet. You can capitalize on your knowledge and skill without lording it over everyone either. I think these are qualities that only introverts can learn just by their nature.

    One of the worst mistakes introverts make when first trying to get out and be a little more “extroverted” is they definitely come off as loud, obnoxious and pretentious. This is because they try to play the extrovert game as an extrovert.

    On the other hand, extroverts may know how to “socialize” and climb their way up the hierarchy but that’s to sate some inner need to do so rather than of any choice.

    On another note, ambivert reminds me a little of the characteristics of Vox’s “sigma male”

    • Good comment.

      “One of the worst mistakes introverts make when first trying to get out and be a little more “extroverted” is they definitely come off as loud, obnoxious and pretentious” – I was massively guilty of this myself. My introduction to game was at the hands of a massive natural extrovert, who had learned Mystery Method. I saw what worked for him, and tried to force myself to copy it, and just came off awkward and miscalibrated. It wasn’t a completely failure – in the process, pushing myself out of my social comfort zone allowed me to acclimatise to such settings gradually, until now, as yourself, I’m totally at ease in any place, in front of one person or a hundred. It’s more about being comfortable with yourself than anything else.

      “On another note, ambivert reminds me a little of the characteristics of Vox’s “sigma male”” – I identify with a lot of those characteristics myself, as I suspect a lot of the more prominent bloggers do. I am actually beginning to wonder however if I’m ever actually going to want to settle down and start a family.

      • “Sigma: The outsider who doesn’t play the social game and manage to win at it anyhow. The sigma is hated by alphas because sigmas are the only men who don’t accept or at least acknowledge, however grudgingly, their social dominance. (NB: Alphas absolutely hate to be laughed at and a sigma can often enrage an alpha by doing nothing more than smiling at him.).”

        Yup…after my recent run ins at ROK…I figured out how to enrage alphas. They hate the notion of any morality being applied to them…and I see the benefits to having morality applied to yourself. Alphas dominate the outside world…but their weakness is within. I think Sigmas are good with both.

        This goes back to the nature of shit tests. I’ll admit I’m a liar to a woman when she says so…but only to win an argument.

  5. Pingback: The Sigma, or having the social choice | Pill Scout Blog

  6. Ambivert here. Was formerly an introvert but that changed when I moved out of my house and away from my feminist mother and whipped father. They both tried so hard to make me a good little beta but it wasn’t in my nature. I moved out within 24 hrs of HS graduation. In HS and college I could and did hang out with whomever I found interesting. No problems pulling women, no problems making friends. The alpha males didn’t seem to like me and thought I was weird. I could sense their discomfort around me. Growing up, I always assumed my ability to navigate any social situation and do whatever I wanted was due to my being a basketball star while remaining very humble. Basketball opened doors and people generally liked me. However, when college was over and the real world started I still found open doors everywhere I looked. It took me a while to learn I am a sigma, ambivert, and have wicked versatility when it comes to communication style. Confidence is high but controlled. I love being me.

    • Haha, good for you mate – I can literally feel the confidence radiating out of you from the style of your comment. A man after my own heart.
      I too would identity with being a sigma, although I’m still yet to attain my full potential I feel.

  7. After reading the post and the comments I have to wonder, are introverted/ambivert girls more attracted to the sigma than the alpha? For me, that would be the case (I scored ambivert).

    • Interesting point.

      Speculating – although biological attraction cues in women are universal, there is of course always an element of the logical mind being able to override them. In introverted/ambiverted girls, the likelihood of this occurring would seem to be greater when presented with a loud, extroverted brash character, such as your typical alpha, so you may be correct.

      Massive generalisation of course.

  8. I got ambivert.

    Probably a function of two things – I used to be very invtroverted.

    Military School at a young age forced me to toughen up = more extroverted among men
    Highschool = failures with women, normal school = more extroverted in general
    Invovlement in Manosphere = measures of both

    If I know someone well and like them – I can talk their head off. It takes me a while to warm up to groups of new people if they’re friends of my friends, but no friends of mine.

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