An interesting discussion has sprung up over the last couple of days, involving what is quickly becoming a somewhat bewildering game of acronym tennis.

Blue pill men, and most women, when given an example of how a female has behaved in an inappropriate manner (such as committing an act of infidelity), will fall typically back on the old excuse of not all women are like that (NAWALT).

As guys become more red pill, and the innate, biologically driven hypergamous and solipsistic nature of women is revealed to them, they soon arrive at the conclusion that despite their protestations, in fact all women are like that (AWALT).

The degree to which AWALT however I believe varies from woman to woman. Some women have a greater level of self-discipline, and have purposefully made themselves aware of their own minds and nature, and strive to act in the correct manner despite their natural inclinations. Are they always doomed to failure? Is there always a man who will set off enough tingles to crumble their resistance? Perhaps. Maybe it is impossible for them to ever fully contain their own nature. Bill Powell certainly thinks so.

I’d argue though that the very act of them putting in the effort to try to learn about themselves, and better themselves, puts them light years ahead of the rest of the female gender. Becoming self-critical and aware of one’s one shortcomings is the first step in being able to control your own behaviour. For this reason, I would very much argue that some women are better than others (SWABTO). This is the position as argued by Tempest here, to which I am inclined to agree.

Personally, although I enjoy the debate, none of this has ever really had any bearing on me. I have never once had a girl cheat on me, nor have I even entertained the notion that she might for a fraction of a second. Why? Because I know I’m the best she’s ever going to get. Even regardless of whether that is true or not, the very act of me believing it causes me to act in a manner which conveys that to her. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My last two girlfriends both told me that “I’d ruined them for anyone else” – no-one else they’ve met after me has come even close to matching up, and they’ve both been single ever since. Alpha widows in the truest sense.

NAWALT is of course a naive mindset. But to be honest, I think the whole AWALT thing smacks of being a bit butthurt. To me, believing in that mantra shows that a guy has not moved past the 2nd stage of his journey, the “misogyny” period where all of the pent-up bitter frustrations of the past are blamed on womankind as a whole (the 1st stage being the initial red-pill awakening). If AWALT towards you, then the problem lies with you, not with them, and the sooner that is realised, the sooner you can move on to your 3rd stage of fully self-actualising, and starting to truly love women again, and becoming the kind of guy that they’d never dream of cheating on because you’re so much better than the rest.

Personally, I’ve never been happier, and had more success with attractive, loyal, feminine women than since I got past the 2nd stage of my journey.


20 thoughts on “AWALT, NAWALT and SWABTO

  1. I love how three different people can write about the same subject and write completely different posts. My post from the point of view of a woman trying, Mitch’s from disappointment in a woman, and yours from the frame of young man in his prime.

    Mine said SWABTO because they try, Mitch’s said even women trying fails in the end & yours said that they will always try because you are what they want the most.

    Funny thing is that I think we are all correct. Of course, I might be biased 🙂

    • The beauty of the ‘sphere – we can all hold differing viewpoints on a topic, and all get alone with one another like adults at the same time!


      • I do have to agree with the both of you and I think this debate is very valuable to all of us. I think this has been one of the more healthy discussions in the sphere. Look guys something I really didn’t expound upon in my post is that I truly haven’t given up on women. Just that my eyes are open wider than ever before.

      • I totally get that Mitch, and yes, your eyes should be open. Everyone’s should.

        It would be nice to go through life oblivious, but this is not a nice world & there are no longer the checks & balances in place that there used to be to control people’s behavior.

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  5. “I’d ruined them for anyone else”

    LOL. You do realize this is “girl game.” Every other guy has heard “you’ve the best I’ve ever had” at some point. Girl Game is so predictable once you realize AWALT. They say what you want you to hear. They stoke your ego. And then you fall in love with them and treat them like a unicorn. “My girl would never even think about having sex with another man” is a delusional man.

    • Keep drinking the kool-aid bro. Some of us just happen to be demonstrably better than others. A combination of innate potential, and a lot of hard work on self improvement. Keep trying, you might get there some day too.

  6. I think there’s no AWALT. Yes they are wired the same, but the approach they have towards men, relationships and other stuff were molded by their family history, the relationships they model as adults and ESPECIALLY their relationship with their father. With their mother too, but specially their fathers.

    Women who were raised with a present loving father tend to have a better conception of men, they grew trusting men, and making wise choices for men in their lives – we have to accept, as men, that not all of us are suited for committed relationships – like me.

    There’s also self-steem. If a woman has low self steem, chances are that she’ll be more likely to cheat on her partner as they seek validation in sex.

  7. yesterdaystomorrowtodayblog

    We each contributed to the Divorce and serial separations that preceded it for years, but the end of our 26 year Marriage is on her because I worked hard to grow and change and nothing was good enough because she was so focused on getting out of the relationship. I KNOW ALL women are NOT like that at all. Are they?

    • Biological attraction triggers for all women are the same – hypergamy is a universal constant, so in that sense, yes AWALT, and you need to always keep this in mind.

      However, there is a vast range of difference between women in terms of their emotional maturity and attitudes to marriage. Not so much intra-country within Western nations, but when considering it globally there is a chasm of difference between women from different nations, and the degree to which the culture surrounding them can poison their minds. So in this sense, yes, most assuredly SWABTO.

      • Dear men of Mgtow,
        This whole mgtow thing is simply a smoke screen for men who don’t want to do their own spiritual work. Sure, some women are terrible, and so are some men. But there is a reason YOU pick the women you do and get the result you get. The truth is, there are GREAT women out there who love, honor and respect their husbands, fathers, brothers and sons. Some of us sacrifice daily for our husbands and children and put the needs of others before ourselves. Some of us fifht and die in service of others.

        Think of your mother or your daughter. Are they lumped into this group of awalt and mgtow, also? I hear a lot of talk about how half of all marriages are ending in divorce, but what I don’t hear about is the other half of marriages that do stand the test of time. Men and women loving and supporting one another through all of life’s adversities.
        What of those men, around the world who are in happy, committed marriages, who would marry their wives all over again if given the opportunity?

        What you have to understand is that EVERY single human being on this planet is a product of their culture, religion and upbringing. Absentee fatherism contributes 100% to deficits in self-worth and self-esteem in young girls that lead them to toxic mindsets and behaviors with romantic partners later on in life. Neglectful or unfit mothers create in young boys a mindset that women are untrustworthy and will eventually abandon them. Add to that an insanely superficial culture that seems determined to move away from family and moral values. This is the mess that we are experiencing in the U.S. and around the world. Please, do your part to help, instead of making matters between worse between men and women.

        While it’s easy to blame ALL women for your problems, I guarantee you that your time is better spent working on yourself and your spiritual shortcomings, and learning HOW to meet and form a healthy relationship with a woman that is not singularly motivated on sex. Men: you are spiritual beings. Your body is a temple, too. Clean up your own life and when you do, you’ll be in a position to screen the women in your life from a different viewpoint.

        Pay attention to her past track record with relationships, her moral values and life goals. Look at her interactions with her family. What type of people are her friends? Study her, and know that a good woman will be studying you, too. You will have to grow up. Expand your concept of beauty. Become a better man yourself, so you’ll be worthy of this kind of woman when she finally enters your life. The others you were in toxic relationships with, weren’t intended FOR you. That’s why it never worked out! You were trying to put a square beg into a round hole. Can’t you see that?

        Sincerely praying for you, and all of the men stuck in this unproductive mindset.

      • Thanks Natasha, this an excellent comment and I agree entirely. The default mental position of many is “obviously I am wonderful, therefore the problem lies with others.”

        Each year, it feels that the number of unsuitable women grows, whilst those few that are the type you describe becomes ever fewer, but there are some out there – if not in great numbers in Western countries, then most definitely in other more traditional ones.

        Even then, we men still have the opportunity to be a positive influence on the “broken” women around us – but in order to do so, we must have spent a great deal of time and effort working on ourselves, to be strong and certain of what we believe in. One of my current housemates is a girl with extremely self-destructive tendencies – in casual relationships with men who treat her badly, viewing kindness with contempt, spurning the idea of having a family, her room looking like a bomb had gone off in there. Through constant interaction with my friends and I, she has (at least for the time being) turned over a new leaf – her room is now immaculate, she’s cut contact with these men, and is asking herself at last the questions about her future that matter.

  8. yesterdaystomorrowtodayblog

    Men and Women need each other so the idea of men going their own way OR women going their own way (radical feminism) are generalized reactions to a general problem. The idea of Agency (look it up because it is complicated), which means Accountability, is lacking in women because Society expects it from men instead. There are no sides in this issue so all the drum beating in the world from men or women is not going to change the facts. I’m tired of arguing about facts as though there is no reality. Self Evident facts are not up for debate. Women and Men are the same but different. As a man I am compelled to take responsibility, or Agency, over myself where my wife in the Separations and Divorce was not. There are a glut of Divorce stories that are similar and for every Rule there is an Exception where men failed to take up Agency and the women did. Going back and forth over these individual cases is not going to resolve anything. Simply put, if men AND women as individuals would take up Agency over themselves and stop blaming others they would realize, like Natasha nicely said, that even if she is to blame I’m the one that married her. Amen.

    • Thanks, gentlemen, for not going on the attack. I appreciate it.

      My point is a simple one. Man and Woman are mirrors for one another. If you don’t like what you see, don’t blame the mirror or try to break the mirror. You have to change yourself, so you’ll like better the reflection staring back at you.

      Over the last 40+ years of tv programming, music, advertisements, and the like (industries predominantly controlled by men), have been telling women over and over through subtle programming, that men desire women FOR our bodies. That to you, we are objects of sexual gratification, FIRST. The message sent (whether intended or not) has come through loud and clear, that women’s hearts and minds, souls and aspirations outside of the bedroom, simply do not matter as much as what our bodies can provide FOR you.

      And because we love you, need you, and want you to love us too, a segment of our gender is striving to become EXACTLY what you have ASKED them to become over the past half-century or longer. That is, willing and available sexual partners. No strings attached! DTF, pump and dump. But, i think some men didn’t realize this desire would come with consequences! That these women would have to be lacking in spiritual depth and moral values (the very same moral values that wouldn’t allow certain women to sleep around in the first place!) And so now, the chickens have come home to roost.

      I am sure you have seen the rise in lip injections, breast and butt implants, liposuction and spikes in the rate of anorexia, bulimia, bipolarism and depression in women, than we’ve ever seen before. Why? Because this is what women think men want! And if it’s not what you guys want then you (who control the industries and the messaging) can help the situation by changing the message! Place virtue and excellence in character, before sex and external appearance, and see how the reflection in the mirror changes.

      If women take away absolutely nothing else from the concept of Mgtow, it should be this: that our efforts to give men what we thought they wanted, is HURTING them, and WE are hurting ourselves, too.

      But we can’t work on things without you, gentlemen. You need us, as much as we need you. So, you have to grow up, now, out of this mgtow business, because we have to work together to fix things between us for our children’s sake and the sake of our collective future.

      We’re here, and we’re listening.

      P.s. Glad to hear you are helping emotionally support your roommate. Compassion and awareness of the suffering of others is key to becoming a better person.

      • Yesterdaystomorrow: I agree. There are two sides to every coin. Stop arguing with people over who is to blame and start doing your spiritual work. PICK BETTER. SCREEN MORE. EYES WIDE OPEN. BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND. And when you find your one in a million, don’t take her for granted. Marry her! Cherish her. Otherwise, you’d have gone through all this past heartbreak, to still not have learned THE LESSON.

        Have a great day!

      • Hey again Natasha

        Whilst I agree with the gist of what you are saying, you’re unfortunately mistaken if you think this agenda is set by us “ordinary” men.

        The message coming from media is controlled by a tiny group of ultra-wealthy elites with an agenda – to make as much money as possible. And sex sells.

        Whilst it could be possible for each man to affect those women around him on a small, local scale, this would require every man to be wise, awake and enlightened to a degree – and 99.99% are not, and never will be, influenced by media just as much as women are.

        When you begin to realise this, you see the scale of the problem. There is no simple fix.

  9. Hmmm…don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you might be short-changing yourself. The average man is EXTREMELY powerful. Look at what you’re doing with this blog, for instance. You got me to stop and listen and respond, not once but 4 times to you. You CAN absolutely make a difference in your home and amongst your peers. You can also affect change by better utilizing your purchase power. Mentor younger men and strive to be a good example, by choosing wisely the woman you bring into YOUR life.

    You’re not responsible for changing the whole world, but everyone reading this–myself included–can do more to promote healthy relationships between men and women instead of scaring people away from partnership and commitment. This includes the way we speak to and about each other. If you start, others will follow and soon you may have a new movement of empowered, enlightened and willing men. Don’t be afraid to lead. I hope these msgs have given you and others encouragement. I wish you the absolute best in life and love.

    • yesterdaystomorrowtodayblog

      The one subject more divisive than gender, class, race, religion is political ideology, so politicizing these issues is polarization; division over political ideology. Already in many Court cases women are “representing” an ideology rather than simply telling the truth. This results in false charges and testimony, NOT because the guy is guilty but because he is a man. That is indefensible. I experienced it and I’m fortunate to have an effective defense. I see NO difference between that and being accused because I am black, poor, or Muslim. So what I disagree with is putting these things out there in the political arena at all. They don’t belong there. Some call it democracy. I call it chaos and violence. I chose a woman and raised her daughters and she jettisoned me after 27 years because I got old and useless. Yeah, women are sensitive. I’m NOT going to live out my final years as a bitter old man, though. I’ll be Alone, in pain and probably die before she does but I won’t waste my time and energy on it. Easier said than done.

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