As regular readers of my blog will know, I’m a firm proponent of the “work smarter, not harder” mantra. Call it a personal motto if you will. I’m all about doing my research, and finding the way to get the maximal results out of something by putting in the bare minimum effort. Remember – once you reach a goal, there are no rewards handed out for how much blood, swear and tears you secreted along the way. If anything, I feel even more satisfied knowing I only put in a quarter as much effort as my peers to get the same result.
As I have also previously discussed, I consider the UK to be an extremely target-poor area of the world in terms of girls. I like the lifestyle here, the subtle, dry sense of humour, the economic opportunities – but the women? Forget it. Afflicted with a terminal case of “Anglo-massive-ego-itis”, and generally not looking after themselves even as well as their American counterparts, it can be literally weeks in between seeing a single girl who I consider to be genuinely beautiful – and even then she’s probably foreign.
To that end, it simply makes no sense for me to be putting massive amounts of energy into pursuing these women. I don’t consider them worthy of the level I have attained, and so to put anything more than an ounce of energy into getting with them is to disrespect myself, and will inherently erode my inner game. Think tide marks.
Lets say a girl chases you however. In terms of my inner game, having a girl invite herself over, and put it on a plate for me ain’t eroding shit. What if it were possible to sit back, do nothing, and have girls consistently come to you instead?
Well, if this last week is anything to go by, then I’ve got good news – it is. I’ve always considered this to be the pinnacle of game, when your value has reached such a level that the girls start coming to you instead. The bad news – you’re going to have to put quite a bit of time and effort into getting here. Don’t expect to arrive at this stage without years of solid work behind you.
With that in mind, here are a breakdown of the things you’re going to need to start creating opportunities for women to come to you:
- High Value
This is the blindingly obvious one. So much so that some might say “Well of course girls will come to you if you have this” – and whilst that’s true, you’ll also still not manage to fuck any of them if you don’t have the other items on this list. There are no shortcuts here. You need the look, the clothes, the body and the money.
The manosphere exists for the purpose of providing you with the information to sort yourself out in this regard, and I don’t have the time or motivation to go through it here.
You don’t need to be movie star level, but the higher you can get all of these, the higher the calibre of girl that’s going to be potentially pursuing you. Movie stars get 9.5s throwing themselves at them – I’m getting 7.5s, maybe the odd low 8.
Ugly men take heart – your facial looks are probably no more than a 20% part of the overall package here, perhaps even less, if you can get the other factors high enough.
- Putting Yourself Out There
If you meet zero girls, guess how many girls are going to throw themselves at you? I’ve been guilty of this recently, having only just started emerging from a 6-month period of self-imposed hibernation whilst I feverishly worked 16 hour days on my stock project. To say my sex life suffered as a result would be something of an understatement.
The good news is this does not require a massive effort, and doesn’t require any sort of approach monkey behaviour.
This can be as simple as putting together an awesome online dating profile, and leaving yourself logged in on the site 24/7 so you appear at the top of the search results consistently (at it’s pinnacle, I was getting up to 30 winks/messages a day from match.com with this method). That said, physical interactions with girls are going to yield much more solid leads however, so whenever possible, take up that opportunity to go for drinks with your friend’s work colleagues. Go to that house party.
You’re still going to have to put in some effort into this, or accept the barren penile circumstances that will otherwise ensue.
- Social Skills
Putting yourself out there is pretty useless if you’ve got the personality of a soggy turd. Without solid social skills, you aren’t going to get very far.
Again, I won’t go into massive detail here, as there is a wealth of information out there, but you must put in the time and effort to simply being social whenever you can in your day to day life. Talk to shop assistants (these are really low hanging fruit, since they are obliged to be friendly and polite back to you). Vocalise that random thought that came into your head as you stood next to that stranger on the train platform. The more you do this, the easier it becomes, and the better your social skills will get, until you’re a silver-tongued devil spinning a web of such oratory scintillation that women can’t help but remember you, and then subsequently chase you up
- Solid Game
So you’ve got all of the above, and are now in the situation where women are consistently contacting you up, ferreting out your contact info via Facebook, and sending you hopeful messages. How much good is that going to do you without solid game? Very little.
Obviously, your game doesn’t have to be anywhere near the level it would have to be if you approached these girls, but you still have to know how to hold your frame together, not supplicate, appear indifferent (which is easy, since you kind of are), escalate verbally and physically, and give off a general cocky/funny vibe.
You’re going to have to have put in your hours in the trenches for this one. Again, there’s not necessarily any need to be a rabid approach gibbon, hitting on everything that moves, but you’re going to need to have the experience of being on dates with a large number of girls, of being in one-on-one intimate situations, so you have the wealth of previous knowledge to call upon as to when to escalate smoothly and confidently, when to call her out on her shit, and everything else involved in the process.
Since solid game is to some degree merely a natural consequence of the combination of the above factors, if you’ve got all those, you’ll be halfway there already. That extra effort is still required though.
So this week, I’ve had four separate girls come forward to either invite themselves over to my place, or try to set up meetings with me. They are variously:
- a Canadian girl who I met twice, for a duration of about 2 hours at a time about 4 years ago, who texted me out of the blue a year ago to tell me she had been head over heels in love with me, then apologised for sending it the next day, citing drunkenness. She then got back in touch last week, claiming that in fact she had been telling the truth (shock), and wants to come over to London to see me. She’s resolved to lose 30lb and get a boob job before she comes too in order to impress me – winner. She’s currently about a 7.5 I’d say
- A lesbian friend of a friend who once described me as “her Kyptonite” – apparently she likes women, and me. I’d not heard from for her for about a year, and she texted me a few days ago and invited herself over after work for sex. There’s a certain type of smug satisfaction you can only get from turning a lesbian
- A French friend of my housemate who came to our house party about 2 months ago, who I interacted with very briefly, who just looked me up and added me on Facebook, referring to me as “that really arrogant English guy who said he liked my pink trousers”. She is keen to meet
- A 20 year old Australian girl who I met travelling in September 2011, who pinged me on Facebook to tell me she is coming to the UK to visit, and did I want to meet up. In September. Thanking her for the advance warning, I made some semi-commital response, and will chase up again nearer the time. She is probably a low 8
Now I’m only really on the beginning of my journey into what I consider lazy man’s game. The good news is, due to my zealous pursuit of all my self-improvement habits, and the sheer size of my ambition, my value is creeping up, inexorably, week upon week, and I see no reason for it to stop any time soon. So all of this is just going to get easier and easier, and the girls chasing me up are going to get hotter and hotter, provided I apply the above steps. Works for me!