In the context of pursuing women, I’m sure there aren’t many of us in this part of the internet who haven’t read about the importance of having an abundance mindset. If you truly believe that you have a large number of options with women, you attach less importance to each individual interaction, not caring whether you succeed or fail, becoming more outcome independent, and in the process telegraphing all the the subcommunications of a high value individual, making yourself much more attractive. You are prepared to take more risks, since you do not fear losing what you have – you know it can be replaced. Your mood is generally better, and when you look at the world you see the opportunity to talk to and meet girls literally everywhere.
I believe it is important to extend this paradigm to all aspects of your life. I read so many blog posts by guys who are investing 95% of all their available time and effort into chasing girls, and yet bemoan their lack of money, poor social group, or unsatisfying cubicle job.
Put it this way – would you really tolerate a soul destroying job, getting berated by your boss on a daily basis, working for a pittance, if you truly believed you could walk out of there at any point and get a different job straight away? Of course you wouldn’t. You’d hand in your notice, refuse to debase yourself in that way any longer, and walk out of there, confident you could pick something up. You blindly backed yourself with women in the beginning, picking up the skills as you went along – why should this be any different?
Your friends are holding you back, they don’t like the person they think you’re becoming. You are threatening their world view, causing them to have to evaluate their own shortcomings in the harsh light of day. They want to put you back in your box. Or maybe all they want to do is go out and drink themselves stupid every weekend, using “shitfaced 3am club trawling” game as their only recourse. Why would you continue to associate with people like this, that are impeding your development? Clearly because you do not believe you are capable of walking out on to the street in any place, on any given day, and bringing cool and interesting new people into your life with the strength of your personality and social skills.
Life is about balance. 95% chasing women is not a good division of your time. What’s the use of an abundance mindset in one area, if you do not cultivate it in any others? Primarily, all we care about is getting girls when we get into this stuff, and sure, you may make good progress with girls in the short term. But you are never going to stand a chance of getting with truly top tier women – the wealthy, debutante 9.5s of this world, who are pursued themselves by extremely successful men with their shit together – if you don’t bring your whole “life game” up to scratch. And that is what you want, right? And if not, why aren’t you setting your ambitions higher?
I woke up this morning feeling slightly dissatisfied with my life, a little boxed in. As my mood began to turn lower, as it would have done in the past, the rock solid foundation of my firmly held conviction – that at any point I could fly to any country in the world, on my own, and within a day have met an entirely new group of people and have lined up as many dates as I wanted – rose up and ruthlessly quashed the nascent depressive rumination before it had a chance to form. A true abundance mindset, and unshakeable core confidence.
It is imperative that you develop an abundance mindset in every facet of your life if you really want to get ahead. Fear of loss, be it in any sphere of your life, will only hold you back.
Enjoy your weekend, do something productive!