Libido

So here I am, over 6 foot tall, tanned, muscular, well-dressed, good-looking and hung like a donkey (modest too). And with nearly zero desire to go out there and chase some girls down. I feel like a nuke missing the firing pin.

I’ve never had the highest of sex drives, but this is plumbing new depths even for me. The bitch of the situation is, the fact that I’m spectacularly not bothered about women at the moment doesn’t bother me, because I’m not bothered. Annoying? Despite being unbothered, I’m certainly never going to acquire a top quality girlfriend with that mindset.

I think the problem is twofold. First, there’s got to be something wrong with one of my blood levels. I don’t know which one, so I’ll head off to the doctors to get them all checked. Testosterone doesn’t seem to be an issue – I train hard, 4 times a week, loads of squats/deadlifts, have no trouble putting on muscle, and feel like I could rip someone’s head off with my bear (sic) hands when I stride out, pumped and sweaty after a good session.

Second, and I really think this is more of a factor than perhaps I realise – there are very, very few genuinely hot girls in the UK. I can go literally weeks at a time in between seeing a girl who I consider to be an object of genuine beauty. So long in fact that I begin to question whether the problem lies with myself, but then at the last minute “boom” – some slinky, sultry raven haired temptress appears across a crowded street, and it’s like someone has injected a shot of crystal meth directly into my eyeball. I’m suddenly excited like a child, animated, happy, enthusiastic and horny all in one massive confusion of emotion. This in fact happened the other day, much to my friend’s bemusement – it was so far out of character from my normal “meh… she’s ok I s’pose…” Of course then, by the time I’ve finished capering around like a buffoon, the opportunity has usually gone, or I’m on a packed tube with 57 silent commuters. Excuses I know, but it’s very difficult to get in any kind of groove when there are so very, very few chances to practise.

Bollocks to you, UK women. Yet another reason to get this stock system finished as quickly as possible and get the hell out of here. It’s also hindering my desire to authentically hit on stunning women in the daytime – there aren’t any bloody stunning women around.

I’ve started on a daily dose of 5mg Cialis today as an experiment – I actually recall reading about this suggestion in some of Mr Jabba’s literature, although I’m buggered if I can find it now. It will either transform me into a lascivious lothario, or give me something to hammer nails into the wall with at the very least.

I’m so far past having sex with girls who I think are “OK”, or “kind of cute I suppose” for ego validation or to leverage gains in confidence from, and yet if I continue in this vein much longer, I might as well shave the crown of my head, pull on a cowl and move into an abbey. Additionally, having removed alcohol from the equation totally has cut out all of the drunken hookups, and the prospect of spending 3 hours on a date enduring tedious conversation with a girl just to get access to the holiest of holes doesn’t exactly appeal much either.

And yet, despite everything, I am happier and more confident than I’ve ever been in my life. I just want to get this addressed because I feel that I “ought to”, even though I couldn’t really care less – does that make sense? I feel like I’m missing my cutting edge, like a Ferrari factory limited to 30mph.

I’m well on top of every other aspect of my life, I just haven’t started attaining model quality women yet, and I’m stuffed if I can’t actually find any desire to do so. It’s like gaming with not only one hand behind my back, but also both feet, and blindfolded. Your core desire and sense of sexuality should drive the whole interaction, give it that edge it needs for you to move things forward.

Cheers

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5 thoughts on “Libido

  1. If it is something to do with blood then do share, but it would have to be unique to you. I’ve eaten bad and healthy and in between and my sex drive still stays the same, and the gym is merely a distraction/release from pursuing sex and other pressing matters in life for me rather than increasing sex drive.

  2. Very good post which I can perfectly relate to.

    I don’t know about your medical history but according to my own experience taking certain prescription drugs such as anti-hairloss products can have huge (negative and possibly permanent) impacts on your libido.

    I recall one post of yours dedicated to your experiments with testosterone boosters. Any new insights?

    • Well, I’ve been on Finasteride for my hair for about 2 years now – I have read of those side effects, but they’re extremely rare. These drugs work by blocking the enzyme that converts testosterone into dihydrotestosterone (which in turn causes miniaturisation of hair follicles) – they have no direct effect on the production of testosterone. Plus, I’ve had a pretty low sex drive my entire adult life, it’s just that it seems to have dropped even lower in the last year or so.

      I’ve never had any problems when actually in a sexual situation – quite the opposite. I’ve just got no urge to seek them out much any more.

      I’ve tried Tribulus – no effect. There are no reputable studies of this actually working anyway.

      Fenugreek – actually did have an (admittedly very mild) effect, but nothing to write home about.

      Maca – supposed to work, but hasn’t done anything for me yet. Can take up to 30 days for the effects to kick in, which I think I’m getting towards soon.

      Cialis – daily dose 5mg (normal does for a one off is 20mg). I’m on my third day of this (I had a sheet lying around, as one does), and this has actually given me some noticeable effects. I’m not walking around with a continual boner, but I’m definitely noticing an increase in that department. So much so, that last night I threw myself on to online dating and set up 2 dates within the space of 30 minutes, one with a girl who I’ve had on a backburner for weeks but simply could not be bothered to talk to. So definitely something there. The effects are supposed to take up to 5 days to kick in fully, so perhaps also room for some improvement. I don’t know if it necessarily does anything for libido, but just makes it a hell of a lot easier for random thoughts and sensations to get things going, which in turn causes a feedback loop if that makes sense?

  3. Just to say good on you on quitting the booze. God knows it takes a hell of a lot of willpower, and hearing how people like yourself have pushed through the urge to ‘unwind’ and come out the other side is encouraging. Great that you’re happier and more confident as a result. That’s just what I’d expect – along with consistency of moods rather than ups and downs (the 2 or 3 days’ misery post-binge are usually followed by one day of euphoria before levelling out). I think I’ll be giving it up for good very soon.

  4. Cheers mate.The first couple of months of thinking “what the hell am I supposed to do with my weekends now” are probably the hardest, but then it’s plain sailing from there and you start wondering why you did it for so long!

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