Who Am I To Lecture You?

I’ve largely stopped reading mainstream manosphere literature, finding it generally far too pessimistic and misogynistic in tone. I’ve actually noticed myself become increasingly more positive about life in general since I did so.

On the occasions I do find myself getting down and mucky for a good old fashioned trawl, I find many younger manosphere writers blogging about topics that I have personal knowledge of myself, having been through the same experiences, learned how to deal with them, and come out the other side a wiser, happier person.

I’m always tempted to comment, attempting to impart some wisdom, and yet my typing fingers are usually stayed by the thoughts of a) I don’t want to come off as a patronising, lecturing old bastard and b) the advice would probably be rejected or remain unheeded under the universal unwritten law of “disregard all advice given by others until you have personally been through what they told you how to avoid, and come to the same conclusion yourself”.

As always with such matters, a Google search for sayings on advice turns up salient, conflicting alternatives:

  • Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it – Agatha Christie
  • Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long – Robert Lynd

So there we have it.

My own favourite, which conveys my attitude towards advice, is probably:

By that measure, I certainly was not wise for most of my life…

11 thoughts on “Who Am I To Lecture You?

  1. Been thinking of taking a break in the past while for the same reason. There’s a fine line between talking about what women are actually like, and just sheer hatred.

    As for the impart wisdom part, one of the problems of modern society is that the wisdom of older people, mentorships, has been all but gone, and it is up to us to help each other out. If you look at alexa.com, despite the fact that people like Rollo/Roissy/Danger/Roosh are in their late 30s, the reader ship is, on average, 21,22. So, people who read the manosphere are looking for this mentorship. I wouldn’t think that being a patronizing shite is a problem.

    • I’m no expert on life, but all I know is that I’ve figured out how to be happy for the first time since I was a kid, and what I did to get there. I guess if I think back 5 years, I’d have been glad of someone to tell me half of what I had to learn the hard way.

      It seems self-evident to me now, hence why I think it sounds patronising, but I suppose it wasn’t back then, or else I wouldn’t have had to go through so much self-doubt and emotional strife trying to figure it out!

  2. That first paragraph is exactly how I’ve been thinking lately. One of my friends recently said I’ve been a bit of a douche and I think all the cynical blog posts I’ve been reading have played a part. It’s more enjoyable to read about what someone loves than what they hate. I enjoy Roosh’s posts on beauty/femininity rather than his hatred of feminism.

    • I’ve got Steve Jabba to thank for really opening my eyes to the importance of a positive mindset. If all you read are negative and cynical blog postings, you will see negativity everywhere.

      I’m a very critical person by nature – something of a perfectionist, so I don’t need any extra impetus to find fault with things.

      My main RSS blog feed now contains only those blogs who offer positive, constructive advice, and it’s really made a difference to my mood.

  3. Your advice is always welcome over on my blog, Francis is right, a lot of us younger bloggers look up to the older bloggers for mentorship. At least in part because it’s quite rare to find a male role model to freely discuss manosphere topics with. My uncle, a real man of the old school, is one of the men I admire most, but there are some areas which he couldn’t offer me useful advice on whilst some bloggers out here have enough experience to offer some valuable wisdom.

    • Right well ok, you asked for it – a double helping of patronising advice heading your way soon 😉

      In all seriousness, I do wish I’d had a male role model when I was growing up. My father was only around til I was 12, and he was a useless wanker anyway. My mother, as much as I love her, turned me into a wussy feminised introvert with all her excessive compassion and mothering, and it’s taken me most of my adult life to reprogram myself back to what a man should be like.

      • My mother took me and my siblings and left my dad when I was 6. Possibly it was the right choice in the circumstance but even with the best of intentions a lot of her advice has proved useless. A smart woman and I’ll always be grateful for her love and support but it’s only know, almost 4 years since leaving home that I feel I’m back on the road to becoming a man.

        So, bring the advice old man. (Also I would seriously recommend True Self Poor Self, that I mentioned I’d started listening to, the guy is seriously insightful and also seems to be a big Tolle fan)

  4. I learned a lot from the woman-hating bitchfest part of the ‘sphere (& was horrified to see my own actions portrayed in their bitching), but yeah, you can only wallow in that mindset for so long before you drown.

    & I’m the queen of patronizing advice 🙂

  5. There is a lot of negativity in the manosphere. Not all of it is undeserved, but you can lose sight of the positive if you dwell too much on the negative. There are parts of the manosphere I really enjoy, particularly writing that involves developing a masculine identity and how it relates to being a better person.

    My co worker and friend is newly married to a beautiful woman from South America. We had some long talks about marriage as I am divorced. I did not want to play the role of the bitter divorcee. We both agreed that marriage is a risky venture, but it does not have to be a bad thing. We determined the best reason for matrimony is childrearing. They both want children and he wants to bring her to the states, so marriage it is.

    Call me a fool, but I might get married again if I met the right girl. I don’t want to get divorced again. Not just because of the economics, but to break up with someone you once loved is an emotionally painful thing.

    The true value of the manosphere is in the knowledge of the subconscious nature of attraction. Like any knowledge, the employment of it is up to the individual. Whether it is to slay as much pussy as possible or cultivate a healthy long term relationship depends on the person.

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