You’ve been watching her across the bar for the last ten minutes. The way her hair gently falls across her face, the way her dress hugs her figure, hinting at more than it reveals. She’s gorgeous, way out of your league.
Suddenly, she turns from her group of friends, and walks towards you. This is your chance. Your heart starts hammering, perspiration springs out of the pores in the palms of your hands. All the witty openers you’ve been rehearsing in your head suddenly disappear, leaving a barren mental wilderness in their stead. Before you know it, she’s already past you, receding into the distance as you stand there, slack jawed and mute.
What just happened in that scenario? Our hypothetical wannabe lothario saw a girl he was insanely attracted to across a busy bar. Immediately, and unconsciously, his mind declared her to be an item of high value, far exceeding his own. And immediately, with that subliminal determination, all chance he ever stood of pulling her went out of the window.
When you perceive a girl to be of significantly higher value than your own, a “fight or flight” instinct automatically kicks in, as you are overwhelmed with fear of “fucking it up” and “losing out on her”. In actuality, she was never yours to lose. Overwhelmed with adrenaline, all semblance of rational thought flies out of the window, and your normally cool, measured countenance becomes flustered and hesitant, as you start over-analysing each remark you think to make, throwing them out because they’re not “cool” enough.
Ultimately however, who made this girl high value in your mind? You did, and you alone. Sure, you were picking up subconscious signals and cues from the behavior of others around her, your societal conditioning screamed at you that here was an unobtainable thing of beauty – but ultimately the process by which this girl was ascribed value greater than your own went on entirely inside your own mind.
When it comes to value, women differ greatly from men. Men are able to carve out their own place in society through the force of their will, by great acts, masculine polarity and dominance. Some radiate power and command merely by their very presence. Not so for women – physically and usually mentally inferior, their value is purely subjective, bestowed upon them by the will of men. If nobody thinks they’re worth a damn, then they’re not. This is why beta men have ruined western dating culture for the rest of – their incessant, supplicating arse kissing has created a hyper-inflated economy of false female value.
So my advice to you – try with all your might to override your programming. Ignore what the words and actions of others tell you that you should be thinking. For ultimately, if you can come to the realisation that this oh-so-hot girl that you want to talk to has no actual value other than that which you allow her to have, you will suddenly find your lips looser, your mind freer, your palms dry and the banter flowing. Then, and only then, will she be yours to pull.