Apparently I Drank to Make the World More Interesting

These last few weeks since knocking the booze on the head have been a bit of a rollercoaster in terms of my moods. At times, I’m bouncing off the walls, bantering every soul that crosses my path, high on life. And at other times, I am a curmudgeonly cynical miserable old bastard, jaded with the world and all its perceived flaws. Me and booze went way back, probably half of my entire life I’ve been getting wasted.

I need some form of periodical release from my own head, a press of the mental reset button. As a natural introvert, there’s usually some form of inner monologue going on in my head most of the time, and despite believing it impossible, I do actually get sick of the sound of my own voice eventually.

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I used to use alcohol as an “off switch” on my brain, so that for at least one night every few weeks I could just go out and act like a misogynistic reprobate, without giving a single shit as to the consequences. Now that I’ve removed that option, I feel at times like I’m railing against my own brain. On balance however, I’ve got to say that not being depressed for 3 days out of every week is a definite improvement in my overall quality of life!

Fortunately, there may be some light at the end of the tunnel. My “experiment” substance is arriving this week, something that should let me experience all of the disinhibitory (that’s a word right? the spell checker is questioning me) and euphoric effects of alcohol, with none of the hangover. If all goes well, I shall report back in a few days with a writeup of the effects. If no more posts appear, then I’m probably vegetablising slowly in a coma somewhere (jokes, the substance is safe).

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7 thoughts on “Apparently I Drank to Make the World More Interesting

  1. Yep, I used to use the bottle for the same reason. Just a nice easy “Shut Up!” to the dome. Which is nice when its ticking ticking ticking away.

    But then I found out meditation works a lot better. And makes me feel like a superhero. Give it a shot.

      • What I do is practice following my breath. Keep a straight spine sitting or standing or you can’t pay attention. Watch your thoughts as they continually come forth, and drop them.

        Another thing to try is holding a “great question” in mind, such as “who am I?” or “what is this experience?”

    • By the way, if you’re looking for a quick fix, yohimbe can give you some energy and talkativeness and remove verbal inhibition fairly hurry.

      Also, I found that kava-kava doesn’t do much, if you’ve been looking at it.

      • Yes, I’ve tried kava – it’s weird, and made me feel a bit dirty. Some people swear by it.

        Interestingly, I’m already taking alpha-Yohimbine (rauwolscine) as fat burners – it doesn’t give you the “edgy” feeling that normal Yohimbine does. But I never considered using the normal for as an energy supplement. It’s quite cheap, I’ll get some in, interesting shout.

    • Actually, I’ve already had a bag full of benzos for years to treat hangover-induced insomnia. I don’t think I’d like to go out clubbing after boshing them however, unless I could find some girls who think stumbling around drooling on myself is hot.

      Come to think of it, that sounds like a normal night out…

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