I recently made a post stating that if you’ve ever lost out in love or the sexual market place in some fashion, then it’s almost certainly your own fault.
If your ego is strong enough to bear accepting this, I cannot express how liberating this mindset actually is. I went on a date with a girl that I actually genuinely liked before I went away on my holiday, and it seemed to go well. Snogged her, re-engaged strongly the following day, and it was left that I would get back in touch with her upon my return. After getting back, and waiting a few days, I dropped her a line last night, with a view to hooking up again this week. No reply.
Now, I’m not going to give up just yet, I’ve turned any number of situations like this back around with persistence. For one reason or another, she has lost interest in my absence, but whichever way I look at it, it has to be my fault. Either I:
- didn’t create enough attraction
- didn’t qualify her enough during our interaction, leading her to doubt my sincerity and viewing me as a player (she made several comments alluding to my high value during the date)
- didn’t execute a holding pattern whilst I was away when I should have done
or anything else. Either way, it’s my game that has to tighten up, if I’m still missing out on girls that I genuinely like.
Time was in the past, I would be sat here seeking any possible reason as to why this had happened, other than pointing the finger at myself. “She’s a silly bitch, how can she fail to realise my value”; “maybe she met someone else whilst I was away”; “maybe she’s got some shit going on in her personal life”. And whilst any of those still might be true, I refuse to accept any of them as the real reason other than shouldering the blame myself.
The liberating part of this means that it moves things firmly back in my control. Maybe not in this particular individual instance, but for the case of future ones, it means that I can go away, work on myself, tighten my game, become even higher value, more sociable, more confident, and make damn sure that when I actually like a girl next time, I won’t let it get away from me. Failure to take responsibility means you are saying the situation is out of your control, and there is nothing you could do to stop things like this happening again, which is total bullshit.
Note that taking the blame doesn’t mean sit around moping about how lame your game is, or how much of a twat you are – it means use it as driving motivational force for further self improvement.
Step up, take responsibility for your failures, and use it as a springboard for future success.