When taking the first tentative, stumbling steps along the twisting pathway of game, the world of bars and clubs can be an intimidating environment. During these early days, a solid wing can be your most valuable asset. You will help each other to get into state, push each other to approach, and provide a safe haven to retreat back to after a harsh rejection. Comparing notes on the evening the following day and analysing sticking points are extremely helpful in aiding your progress.
However, at a certain point in your development, if you really want to keep pushing yourself to reach the highest possible standards with women, you need to start rolling solo, at least some of the time.
Going out on your own is a completely different experience. You alone are responsible for your mood, for pushing yourself to approach, to socialise with as many strangers as possible. There is nowhere to run when things go sour, no-one to turn to for consolation. No safe option exists to not approach, and merely stand around and chat with your wing instead, procrastinating most of the evening away, consoling yourself with such affirmations as “Well, there was no-one worth approaching anyway.” If you don’t take action you end up stood, in silence, on your own, in the middle of a bar or club, feeling increasingly more and more awkward. It is definitely a baptism of fire.
Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I prefer to have to take sole responsibility for the outcome of the evening, as it aligns more closely with my masculine drive. I, and I alone, am to blame for the success or failure of the night.
The most rapid progress in my own development came when I went travelling around South East Asia on my own for 4 months – I moved forwards more in that journey than in the preceding 3 years combined. Indeed, despite having the option to go away with friends on holiday next week, I’ve chosen to make a trip to Cambodia on my own instead.
Fear not however – after going out solo only a few times you will surprise yourself with how quickly you adapt, and the feeling of pride you derive from having taken positive masculine action and pushed yourself out of your comfort zone, emerging (hopefully) victorious. It is of course possible to roll with a wing all the time, but it takes great self discipline to still push yourself to keep approaching on those nights when you’re really just not in the mood.
Approach everyone, not only girls – random groups of guys who you can share some banter with can become your temporary wings, providing a state boost or leverage into their social group.
You’ll get shit-tested frequently by girls asking you where your friends are as you approach them alone, or if you linger in the smoking area for a long time wandering from group to group. The easiest way I’ve found to defuse this question is to simply say “My friend had to leave, and I wasn’t ready to go home yet.” Alternatively, you can just be honest and girls that you rocked out alone – some will actually respect this and give you props, but others won’t. For the ones that call you out on what they perceive to be your “weird” behaviour, you’d better have some rock solid frame control in your arsenal.
That’s not to say I’m advocating always going out alone – I believe it is important to maintain a balance, as with everything else in life, and also have nights where you go out with friends entertaining no other notion than to just shoot the shit and get drunk. Some of my best results have come from nights like these in fact, when women were the last thing on my mind.
When the time comes to get your head down and put some hard graft into your pickup however, there’s no substitute for rolling solo.